organizing!

OMG!  I'm posting.  What in the world is going on?!  I know, I know... I'm not even going to say that my posts will be more regular because I never meet my goals where blogging is concerned.

Anyway, as you already know if we are real life friends (or if you read my blog regularly) I am a super organized person.  I've just found that if I keep everything together I have a much better day! I was telling a colleague today at the hospital where I intern that I spend a few minutes at the start of my day getting ready and organizing.  I use my iCal, Evernote, and a great app for lists called Wunderlist.  I also have a Moleskine planner like this one...

I also LOVE Moleskine squared cashiers notebooks... They are great for lists, doodles, journaling, and keeping track of ideas. 

Another thing I use is a daily planning page. I first saw some on Pinterest and loved the idea.  Anyway, I took some time and made my own page.  I start filling it out when I get up in the morning.  I print a week's worth on Sunday night and keep them in my notebook.  Then I add to them during the week. I include my top 5 things to accomplish that day, meetings, how much water I need to drink, inspirational quotes, something I'm thankful for, plus other odds and ends. Several people have asked for a copy of my daily planning page, so I thought I'd post it here.  Many people charge for this kinda stuff, but I don't think thats necessary.  I do ask though that if you pass it along to someone else, refer them back to my blog or pinterest page so I can get some traffic and credit!  

Thanks!  Enjoy your more organized life!

know yourself.

Hello dearies! Hope this new week is treating you well.

I've had a few conversations in the last couple days that have led me to this blog post.

One of those conversations was with a friend.  We were talking about clothes and she asked how I go about picking things out and putting them together.  When I go into a store I generally know what kinds of things I'm looking for and can pass by everything else.

The next conversation was with someone at the school where I do my internship.  Someone made a comment basically saying that she wasn't sure how I was able to get my schoolwork done, attend classes, keep up with my internships, work, maintain a home, and still have time to sleep and such.

The third conversation was with one of my best friends.  We were talking about going to counseling.  I told her that going to counseling really helped me get into touch with a lot of things in my life and helped me to just accomplish a lot of my goals and move on from a lot of what was bothering me.

The more I thought about both of these, I started to realize that they are kind of related.  All of it had to do with one thing: knowing yourself.  I have certainly not always known myself.  But thats one of the great things about getting older.  You really start to figure out who you are.

I know my style.  I'm a southern girl.  I'm pretty girly and kind of preppy.  I like button downs, floral skirts, cardigans.  So sure, that bedazzled Juicy jumpsuit is probably really cute, but I know Stephanie, and that doesnt say her...

Same thing goes for my schedule.  I know that by the end of the day I'm gonna be really tired, so I better finish that load of laundry in the morning.  I also know that if I don't know what I have on tap for the entire day that I'm going to get really anxious.  As such, I better keep track of my day in my planner.

No matter who you are, what your style is, or how your day goes, learn yourself.  Its the best way to make things happen!  I'm leaving you guys with a few wise words about knowing ourselves.

xoxo

Eff Your Beauty Standards

Hello lovlies!  Hope everyone is having a fantastic Thursday! I got a tax refund today, my girl scout cookies came in, AND I got cancelled at work tonight... so my day is shaping up pretty well.

As I mentioned in my last post, I am going to be posting more about self-esteem, body positivity, and fat acceptance.  This is really close to my heart for obvious reasons. I struggled with self-esteem for so long, and have just recently started to really grasp how special I am despite not fitting into America's size standards. Grad school and counseling others has really helped me (and my classmates I'm sure) identify and resolve a lot of our own personal issues. Weight, self-acceptance, and the shame others sometimes try to impart on overweight people was a HUGE thing for me to deal with.  For me to say hey, I'm fat and more importantly to accept (even LOVE) that about myself is something I NEVER thought I'd be able to do.

As I REGULARLY preach to my counseling clients... support support support.  You can't tackle issues like this alone.  Personally, I don't know too many women that are fabulous fat girls (and even fewer who accept it... I have met a few this semester in class. AWESOME.) Anyway, Wanting inspiration about how to dress a plus size body, feel sexy (omg did the fat girl just call herself sexy?! Yep.), and embrace being who I am I turned to where everyone in my generation turns... the internet. Upon searching social media I found a few awesome plus size ladies working hard to raise awareness about the same stuff I was in my bedroom at night contemplating! Sure, they are fewer and farther between than activists for racial or sexual minorities... but they recognize that too many beautiful fat girls aren't living their life the way it deserves to be lived and they are working to change that!

I wrote ALLLL that (verbose, aren't I!?) to lead up to this.... Very rarely do I post words that aren't my own, but today I was on Instagram (@steffiefresh if you want to follow...) and one of those lovely inspirational ladies, plus size model Tess Munster (@tessmunster... follow her too!) (side note: plus size, redhead, AND wearing animal print... she might be my long lost sister!) posted an AWESOME photo and caption that just completely made my day.  I had to share it! Below is that Instagram post:

"Reposting for my new followers because this is very dear to my  I dont know about you, but frankly I am tired of getting told what curvy/fat/plus size girls are “allowed” to wear. For everyone that says we cant show our tummies, wear a pencil/form fitting skirt, wear a bikini, wear sleveless tops… YOU can! I want YOU to join me in wearing “daring” fashions & stop hiding your body because society tells you to.Break out those horizontal stripes & hashtag #effyourbeautystandards on instagram &  tumblr. We will take back our right to be a total babe regardless of our size..big OR small we all deserve to feel beautiful." - Tess Munster

This really brings a tear to my eye because I wasted 25 years NOT living like this.  Nothing in my life has changed my my self-imposed limitations! Every day my mission as a counselor is to help clients break through such limitations.  Yours might not be size.  I just talk about that because its mine. Whatever it is PLEASE think about moving beyond it and embracing life. #Effyourbeautystandards might sound harsh, but that really is the attitude that makes life happy!

I'd love to hear your thoughts/struggles.  Believe it or not, hearing people's feedback REALLY helps, not only with me personally, but when talking to clients too. 

xoxo

It starts with me

You know what annoys me?

"People say... "
"They think..."

Don't you hear this like ALL the time?
I do... and it irritates the heck out of me.

"You know... they say that horizontal stripes make you look fat."
"You know... people say you aren't allowed to wear white pants after labor day..."

Seriously. Who are these people? Why do THEY get to dictate what we can or cannot do and/or wear? Why the hell do we listen to "them"?  I've been thinking about this sort of stuff a lot lately. As anyone who knows me personally already is aware, I'm a plus size girl. Hold the phones, I dare say... I'm fat. OMG did I actually say that? Hell yes, I absolutely did!

Here's the thing about it though... the only person who ever calls me fat... is me.  Sure sure, there was the rude kid in school who said something out of the way, but that was in middle school, and since I'm 27 now that's sort of way in the past. Nobody at a clothing store is ever like HEY YOU, I know that comes in your size but its horizontal stripes, and that's not something fat girls should wear! The only person who ever tells me things like that is me.

I never really thought about the messages that I told myself until I started grad school.  In the counseling field we talk a lot about schema and self talk and all that other cognitive stuff. Anyway, for whatever reason (which I sort of know... but don't want to blast people who helped shaped my thought processes... its not really anyone's fault per se... we just don't realize how messages 'stick') I always corrected myself about things I could do/not do, wear/not wear, think/not think because i was fat.

(side note: FAT is NOT a bad word. Its not an insult. Its just an adjective. Its not insulting to say a girl is a redhead or a guy is black.  Its not bad, its just what it.... same with the word fat. So yeah, I call myself that. I also call myself southern, smart, redhead, preppy, white (pale really haha) etc and none of that makes people think I hate my body... neither should fat. Its just how I am... and I don't mind that damn it!)

Ugh... chased a rabbit. Terrible habit. Back to what I was saying... Nobody ever comes up to me and says I can't do something because of my size.  I lived with limitations for a LONG time that I thought were from the outside... but now I'm really beginning to see that they are self-imposed. I thought I couldn't get a boy to like me in high school, so I didn't date. NEVER did one of my girlfriends tell me I couldn't get a date, I told myself that... and I didn't try. NEVER has someone told me that I shouldn't wear shorts or a tank top or whatever else, but for a long time I told myself that "people say that." Nobody ever said that I shouldn't have long hair, I just had it in my head that I couldn't pull it off because I was a 'big girl' (thats what called myself back when I was scared of/embarrassed by the word fat.)  Seriously, all these ridiculous messages came from INSIDE MY HEAD!?

There was a time when I would have DIED if I had to call myself fat, much less write about it where someone might read it. This would have been a DEEP DARK SECRET that i was keeping from everyone.  Then one day I realized... people already know. Ummm duh. People look at me every day, and they can obviously tell that I'm not a size 6. Secondly, it didn't seem to really bother anyone... except me.  When I went out for ice cream with my friends, nobody was like "hey fat girl, drop that cone!" I, however, was certain that everyone was looking at me. (How self-centered was I?!) Seriously, who thinks everyone is looking at them when there are delicious deserts around?!  I was living life with a set of rules that SUCKED!  These rules were self-imposed. I wasn't 'allowed' to live fully because I was fat?! Excuse my bluntness, but thats bull shit. I DONT have to wear things to 'cover up'. I don't have to avoid eating in public. I don't have to pretend I want to be super skinny (I don't btw being fat is part of being me... I own it!), I don't have to lose weight to have a relationship (seriously, my bf is a total hottie!), and I DO NOT have to have a less fulfilling life just because I'm an awesome, fabulous FAT GIRL.

I'm gonna post more about fat acceptance, loving your body, and positive self-talk in the coming days, but for now I leave you with a positive thought below...  I'd love to hear your (kind) thoughts about body image! If you don't have something nice to say... well you know!

xoxo

Spring cleaning

Ok, so it isn't quite spring.  Even so, I decided to clean up my blog a bit.  I deleted some links, updated my about me, and am planning another couple of things in the coming days.  So, what brought this on? Honestly, I'd all but forgotten that I had a blog.  I get caught up in an endless cycle of classes, internship, providing counseling services at Winthrop's counseling clinic (side note: if you need some counseling, its FREEEE and really good... ask me about it!!), working, homework, and housework.  My blog and my sewing are the two projects that suffer due to my jam packed schedule.  Anyway, my friend Wynne (she's adorable btw) mentioned that she stumbled across my blog the other day and read it.  She said she loved my writing and I should update my site.  Honestly, that is without a doubt the best compliment I could possible get.  Sure, any girl loves to be told she's pretty or has cute shoes on, but for me my writing is one of the closest things to my heart. As such, hearing that absolutely made my day...

it also got me thinking about what I needed to do to give my blog a little facelift.  I still LOVE my layout and the custom header I made.  It took me FOREVER considering I have no idea how to do computer programming and such.  So, that stuff will be staying.  I have a few really interesting (to me at least) ideas that will be worked into posts in the next few days/weeks.  But seriously, who else lets demands and 'have to' stuff get in the way of 'want to' stuff?!  I'm sad that I've walked away for something that makes me happy for so long.  Writing is therapeutic for me.  I write every single day without fail.  I really enjoy this format of writing a lot though.  When I share a struggle or an important discovery, it makes me feel good.  Its nice to think that when I've made a mistake or come to a new realization I can post it here and maybe, just maybe someone will read it and benefit from what I've gone through.  Anyway, I'm going to get back to this (I know, I know... I've said it before) because doing what you enjoy is JUST as important as keeping your responsibilities in check. I'm TERRIBLE about carving out time for doing things just for myself.  This is one of those things, so I will be MAKING myself devote some serious time to blogging in the next couple weeks.

So, what's you hobby/pastime that sometimes takes a backseat to less fun things?

Better.

Its the time of the year when I get REALLY stressed out.  Everything is almost due at school.  The holidays are approaching which means balancing a work schedule (my line of work doesn't shut down unfortunately), finding time for my family/friend commitments, and of course the dreaded holiday shopping. With all this STUFF, its sometimes hard to still enjoy things. As such, here are five ways I make the day better.

1. Call a loved one.  Every day.
CALL (not text) someone you love.  Just say hi, catch up etc.  For me, its my mom.  I call her every single day without exception.  Even if its two minutes to say I love you, it always improves my day.  Of course you don't have to call the same person every day.  I also call my sister a good bit.  We prefer Skype to telephone calls.  We spend an hour or so about once a week skyping and I always look forward to our chats.

2. Organize.
Clutter leads to stress.  Guess what alleviates the stress?  Organization.  People sometimes think I'm OCD because I clean so much.  I just know that I have issues with anxiety.  Having a clean organized space lessens my stress and anxiety A LOT, so I just know to stay on top of it.  Plus, cleaning is pretty good exercise if you do a good job of it... and exercise helps reduce stress too... its win win!

3. Do something for someone else.
This is one of my favorites!  Doing something for someone else makes you feel good!  Don't ask for credit or a favor in return.  The good feeling is your reward!  I most often do little things for my boyfriend since he's right in the same house.  I'll wash his work uniform without being asked, leave a little sweet treat on his nightstand, or make him a breakfast when he wakes up on his day off.  It makes him happy and that makes me happy...

4. Express yourself.
Blog, sing, journal, paint... do something creative.  I do lots of creative things.  Some (like writing) I'm pretty good at.  Others (like crochet) I'm well, not so good at.  Either way, it makes me feel really good to create, express myself, think outside my normal realm of work/school. Who knows, maybe you'll even find something you're really good at!

5. Don't put it off.
This is one I sometimes struggle with.  It stinks to go to bed with a sink full of dishes or a dryer full of clothes.  Why?  Because when you wake up they're still there!  Getting it done and waking up without a completely full plate always feels good.

How do you make things better?

spend/save

Man, life is crazy, huh? These last couple years it seems like the entire world has hit hard times. I think the key to being happy, even when times are hard is to have balance.  We were talking about this at work (which is where I think up lots of my posts) and I thought I'd share.  We all agreed that the key to being content is knowing where to spend and where to save.  So, where do I spend and where do I save? Its like this:

Saving

1. Media:  I like to go to the movies, but for us Netflix is a lot more practical and cheaper.  I LOVE to read, and while Barnes & Noble is a fantastic place, buying a used book or going to the library has its charms.  I love this local place called the Book Knack where you can trade in books.  I trade in stuff I don't want anymore and I get credit toward other used books of my choice.  Its a really awesome system that keeps me with new literature even when I'm short on cash.

2. Cleaning:  I am OBSESSED with keeping my apartment clean and tidy.  Thanks to the wonderfulness that it Pinterest I have found SOOO many short cuts for cleaning.  One of my favorites is to make my own febreeze.  I also boil orange peels and cinnamon to keep the house smelling great.  Soak some peels in a sealed jar of white vinegar for two weeks and you'll have an amazing household cleaner that is safe for your kids or pups. There are lots of ways to save on cleaning products.

3. Mail:  I used to mail all my bills every month.  After a while all that adds up.  Now I've learned to pay just about everything online.  It is so handy to just pull up an app on my phone and pay everything in one spot.  Its also saves me money which is GREAT!

4. Haircuts: I have some friends who spend spend spend on a haircut, but not me.  I spend when it comes to hair products, so my hair is healthy.  As such, I don't have to get trims all the time.  When I do get a trim I go to a great clips and get the ends clipped.  Since I take care of it, I don't have to get drastic cuts and don't need a special stylist. 

5. Coffee: MAN, did this used to be a spend!?! However in the recent past I've discovered a great way to make iced coffee. OF COURSE Martha Stewart (my idol) gave me the ideas.  Starbucks isn't stealing all my cash anymore!!

Spending

1. Personal grooming:  When it comes to makeup, shampoo, skincare I am ok with spending.  These products help me stay healthy, put my best foot forward, and feel beautiful so I shell out some cash.  I can't say enough about Sephora and how great their makeup products.  Since I've begun using higher end makeup products my skin has been much healthier. 

2. Pets:  I LOVE my girls!  Bella and Lilly never fail to brighten my day.  Coming home at the end of the day them being so excited makes me so so happy.  Since they are so important to me I spend when it comes to them.  I spent to get pure bred chihuahuas because I wanted to know what I was getting.  I liked knowing that they would stay small and fit in with our lifestyle. I'm ok with paying per month for the vet.  Its comforting to be able to take the girls in any time I need to.  I also buy them food designed for chihuahuas.  Its little just like they are and I like that its small and safer for them.  Of course they are well stocked with toys and treats.  Spending for my babies is NEVER a problem.  

3. Fruit and veggies:  I saw a Dr Oz episode about pesticides.  With soft skinned fruits (think peaches or blueberries)  pesticides actually seep INTO the fruit itself.  So washing my fruit isn't helping keep me safe.  As such, I try to buy locally when it comes to veggies so I'm not eating all that gunk!

4. Technology: I am a member of the cult. I buy Apple.  Say what you want, but my Apple products have lasted forever and never let me down!

5. Treats: every once in a while my FAVORITE splurge is a pint of Ben & Jerry's.   Yes, its five bucks, but nobody else has better ice cream.  The boyfriend's favorite is candy, so we'll splurge on a big bag of twizzlers for him or we buy a 12 pack of soda.  Sometimes we just need a sweet treat at the end of the day.

Spending is fun when you know you can save in other places and pay your bill.  Saving is fun when you allow yourself rewards in little ways.  Hope this post got you thinking.  What are some of your favorite thrifty secrets or fun splurges?