I haven't posted on my blog since 2014.
To be honest, I'm surprised that I remembered the password to my account.
Thats now long its been since I typed anything, shared anything. I'd write about everything that's been going on since then, but that'd be more of a memoir than a blog post. Let's see... I graduated from graduate school, met a guy, started dating that guy, got engaged to that guy, married that guy, took a job, moved to Charlotte. I've made friends and lost friends. My step dad died from cancer. I took a big step away from my faith for a while in the throes of grief. Now I'm running full tilt toward God, trying my best not to get back to where I was, but to move past that and find where I'm meant to be now.
When I stopped blogging, it was right around the time that we found out my dad was really sick. I stopped doing a lot of different things around then. I stepped away from so many things, not because I didn't want them, but because I just needed more time to process what was happening and cope with how our lives were changing. Now, I think that I'm done the grieving process. I still miss my dad every single day, and I don't think that this will ever change. Now however, when I think about him, the majority of my memories are of the good times and not thoughts about how lost I feel without him. I've learned to accept this reality and I've come to deal with the fact that I won't be seeing him again until the Lord calls me to heaven. I'm not the biggest fan of this, but I've accepted it. Plus, that reunion will totally be worth the wait.
So, I went through a HUGE crisis of faith. I wasn't MAD at God necessarily. I just wasn't sure that I was going to make it through my dad's passing and still be able to be the person God had called me to be. I was struggling to function at a minimum, much less be all that God called me to be. So, quite simply, I didn't try for a while. I didn't stop believing (Journey will be glad to hear it...) and I didn't 'fall into sin' as we christians like to say. I just couldn't be active in my faith. I stopped going to Elevation for the most part. I still watched online every week, but I needed to be alone in my struggles and pain. I just couldn't put on a smile and do the happy Christian thing. As a part of that, my blog went silent as well. I prayed and cried and my family and I got through it. We are all still dealing with missing Dad every day, but I'm proud to say that we made it through the hardest part.
So, that brings me to now. Cory and I met right about the time my dad died. Through that time, my new relationship with Cory was such a blessing. He was a light in the dark for me. He is so passionate about his faith, and his fire helped me keep my little spark going, even when I was so bogged down in my grief and figuring out a new way of life. Now, we are married and I've coped with the grief successfully. Its now a part of my life instead of my whole life. As a couple, Cory and I are working hard to jump into Elevation Matthews and build a faith community around us. We are going to a WONDERFUL small group, tithing, volunteering, praying and studying together and apart, and we are about to become involved as leaders in the student ministry. I think that any christian knows that we go through seasons in our faith. At times, things feel dry and barren. At other times we feel fulfilled and full of potential. Right now is a season of growth and learning for Cory and me. We are learning to be leaders and to work as a couple instead of as two individual people. We are learning how to have a Christ centered marriage and how to follow Him on our own, but also as a family.
The other day I felt this old familiar nudge in my spirit... something I haven't noticed in a while. I know that God was with me when I was going through grief and pain. He comforted me and he sent Cory into my life right when I needed him. Even so, I didn't really feel God leading me to DO a lot through that time. It was almost like the lord knew I wasn't up to ministering... he knew I needed to be ministered to. Now though, I know that Cory and I are on the cusp of falling into God's plan for us. I hope that writing is part of his plan for me. I love it, and I would love to use it to touch people. But for now, I feel like the Lord is telling me to start writing about my experiences with him again. I'm not so arrogant to think that my blog will lead millions to salvation (though I don't question that the Lord could do that if he saw fit) but I do know that I learn more about my faith when I write about it. I also know that someone somewhere will relate to what I'm going through.
So, I'm moving on... and part of that is coming back. Hope you are all willing to take the journey with me.
Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 2
Tuesday, January 21
judges
I haven't updated a lot lately because I've been preparing for a really big test. Last Friday my classmates and I took the CPCE. We commonly call the test comps (though I think the black death would be a more fitting name.) Let me tell you... that test was DIFFICULT. It wasn't really even the questions that stumped me. Its just the whole process. I spent four years in undergraduate learning the basics of psychology. Then I spent three years learning the ins and outs of mental health treatment with adolescents. After that I've spent the last three years working on a master's degree that tells the people around me that I know what I'm doing when it comes to counseling. It tells people I've dedicated my professional life to work and that I worked hard learning how to help people. I couldn't really put my finger on why comps had me so rattled until earlier today... well yesterday I suppose. I've always been a really good test taker, so it wasn't test anxiety. It was the judgement part that really got to me. I had to demonstrate that I was a good counselor in such a specific way. I know that I have a passion for counseling. I know that God led me to a career in counseling. I really don't think that I would be happy or effective doing anything else for the rest of my career. For me (and my colleagues based on conversations I've had) counseling is such a personal thing. It really becomes more than your job. Its a part of who I am. The 160 questions on comps asked about theories and names and dates. There was no space on that scantron sheet to demonstrate my heart for counseling... which in my opinion is the most important part. My desire to help others isn't east to see on a test like that. That just really bothered me. They judge our skills without being able to see the most important part.
2. Cut yourself a break. We are our worst critic. When you are overly critical of yourself, you tend to be overly critical of others. When I treat myself with compassion that kindness to spills over to everyone else.
3. Be open-minded. It's important to live according to your values and beliefs. Just remember to grant others that same courtesy. You don't have to agree with people's choices, but you must be willing to live and let live if you want to be less judgmental.
4. Face your fears. It is human nature to fret over the unknown. That being said, prejudice thrives on the unwillingness to learn. Get out of your comfort zone and see what happens.
5. Avoid gossip. If you want to be less judgmental, then clamoring for the latest dirt won't support that goal. Skip the tabloids and all the other sources of gossip. Learn from people firsthand instead.
6. Celebrate diversity. Differences encourage progress. Find common ground with those who are different from you. Then use that as a springboard to learn about the aspects that you DONT have in common. You might learn something new.
So, those are a few things that I will be working on over the next little bit! Thanks for reading. Feel free to share your experiences with judging or being judged.
xoxo.
So what made me realize that? Today in supervision at the hospital we were talking about MLK and being members of a minority. As anyone who keeps up with my blog (all two of you) knows I am really passionate about being body positive and making sure that people aren't marginalized because of their physical characteristics. I've really come to love my plus sized body. Even so, tons of people aren't ok with plus sized people. Its a real thing to shame fat people. I have just as much right to feel good about myself as anyone else does. Usually I just look past that and do my own thing, but this incident was a little different. Someone I really admire made comments that left me feeling quite judged. I decided to bring it up today even though I was sure the offense wasn't intentional. The situation isn't exactly resolved, but the awareness makes me feel a little bit better.
When I was talking about the situation I felt a familiar feeling from last week creep up again. Thats when I realized that in both situations (the confrontation and the comps exam) I was really bothered by being judged. Just like the test didn't reflect my knowledge in my opinion, I think my outside and others perceptions aren't always reflective of me. People (including me) jump to conclusions and judge people. These two incidents have really given me heightened awareness about passing judgement. I think its something that we can all get a better handle on. It legitimately hurt me when I thought that I have been the cause of that judged feeling in other people. I didn't like feeling it myself, but even more so I didn't like thinking that i may have CAUSED that feeling at some point.
So how to we do better at withholding judgement? I have come up with a little list of things to keep track of, think about, and do to be the least judgmental I can be. I read a bit and compiled them from various ideas and discussions I've had. Anyway, this is just my plan. What are your ideas? Here are a few of mine...
1. Build your own confidence. We've all heard this since elementary school. The kids who bully just feel insecure about themselves. Cliche, but true to an extent. Its easier not to judge others when you feel good about yourself.
3. Be open-minded. It's important to live according to your values and beliefs. Just remember to grant others that same courtesy. You don't have to agree with people's choices, but you must be willing to live and let live if you want to be less judgmental.Tuesday, October 29
Themes
In counseling we talk a lot about themes. Sessions and sessions go by and themes start to emerge. In counseling we refer to these kinds of things as schemas. A person has patterns in behavior and thought and insight into those really helps make changes.
Sometimes we see themes in life too. I have been seeing lots of things lately in my life that all fall into line... Here's some of what I've been seeing lately...
From a book...
"This place is really a sort of microcosm
for the world at large.Things never slow down, but once in a while I find
solace in small places and spaces of time. My moments of solitude are even more
precious here as I see people hurry past me. The fluster serves to highlight my
own stillness and I find myself wondering as I sit here why I don't look for
that in life outside the hospital walls. I'm often times in such a hurry.
Sometimes you have to hurry, especially here at the hospital. But the more I
watch people rush, the more I see that there are some things you simply can't
rush through. You can't rush through emotion. Boy do I want to sometimes. You
can't rush sadness.You sometimes have to sit there in it. Let it envelope you.
Even though it doesn't feel good. I've been looking for the words to put to
that for weeks now. And as I sit here it has finally come together in a few
sentences that make a little sense. I was reading a book the other day and a
line jumped out and bit me, attached itself to me... "That's the thing
about sadness, pain. It just demands to be felt" . I couldn't say why
those words clung to me so tightly until right now, but I see it now. The more
you deny pain the right to be felt the greater the demand becomes until there's
nothing you can do about it.
Through the semester so far I've found that my work here isn't what I thought it would be. I expected to work with or on behalf of patients here, but I am seeing that the bulk of my work here is on myself. I think that this program at winthrop has been easier for me in a lot of ways than it has for other students. I have a really easy time with the academic side of things. I've always made really good grades, and almost any subject I can grasp fairly easily. I don't say that to sound arrogant, but because it demonstrates how this year is a new experience for me. I've always been able to skate by. I could not crack a book all semester and still end up with Bs in all my classes. But this...This work that I'm doing now, this work on myself...There's no short cut. There's no way to handle this overwhelming sadness except to feel it, so sit in it, to embrace it. Because to choose not to feel it, to push it away is to deny the significance of someone or something in my life..."
People say that things come in threes... and maybe that's true. Stop and look around. When things seem to be repeating maybe its because there's a lesson waiting to be learned.
xoxo
Sometimes we see themes in life too. I have been seeing lots of things lately in my life that all fall into line... Here's some of what I've been seeing lately...
From a book...
from a TV show...
and in my own life... (Taken from a journal entry written for my hospital internship)
Through the semester so far I've found that my work here isn't what I thought it would be. I expected to work with or on behalf of patients here, but I am seeing that the bulk of my work here is on myself. I think that this program at winthrop has been easier for me in a lot of ways than it has for other students. I have a really easy time with the academic side of things. I've always made really good grades, and almost any subject I can grasp fairly easily. I don't say that to sound arrogant, but because it demonstrates how this year is a new experience for me. I've always been able to skate by. I could not crack a book all semester and still end up with Bs in all my classes. But this...This work that I'm doing now, this work on myself...There's no short cut. There's no way to handle this overwhelming sadness except to feel it, so sit in it, to embrace it. Because to choose not to feel it, to push it away is to deny the significance of someone or something in my life..."
People say that things come in threes... and maybe that's true. Stop and look around. When things seem to be repeating maybe its because there's a lesson waiting to be learned.
xoxo
Monday, October 28
Boundaries
Insomnia has struck once more. Grey's Anatomy is keeping me company thanks to Netflix. Love this quote from the show and wanted to share...
LOVE this, love you.
Tuesday, February 26
know yourself.
Hello dearies! Hope this new week is treating you well.
I've had a few conversations in the last couple days that have led me to this blog post.
One of those conversations was with a friend. We were talking about clothes and she asked how I go about picking things out and putting them together. When I go into a store I generally know what kinds of things I'm looking for and can pass by everything else.
The next conversation was with someone at the school where I do my internship. Someone made a comment basically saying that she wasn't sure how I was able to get my schoolwork done, attend classes, keep up with my internships, work, maintain a home, and still have time to sleep and such.
The third conversation was with one of my best friends. We were talking about going to counseling. I told her that going to counseling really helped me get into touch with a lot of things in my life and helped me to just accomplish a lot of my goals and move on from a lot of what was bothering me.
The more I thought about both of these, I started to realize that they are kind of related. All of it had to do with one thing: knowing yourself. I have certainly not always known myself. But thats one of the great things about getting older. You really start to figure out who you are.
I know my style. I'm a southern girl. I'm pretty girly and kind of preppy. I like button downs, floral skirts, cardigans. So sure, that bedazzled Juicy jumpsuit is probably really cute, but I know Stephanie, and that doesnt say her...
Same thing goes for my schedule. I know that by the end of the day I'm gonna be really tired, so I better finish that load of laundry in the morning. I also know that if I don't know what I have on tap for the entire day that I'm going to get really anxious. As such, I better keep track of my day in my planner.
No matter who you are, what your style is, or how your day goes, learn yourself. Its the best way to make things happen! I'm leaving you guys with a few wise words about knowing ourselves.
I've had a few conversations in the last couple days that have led me to this blog post.
One of those conversations was with a friend. We were talking about clothes and she asked how I go about picking things out and putting them together. When I go into a store I generally know what kinds of things I'm looking for and can pass by everything else.
The next conversation was with someone at the school where I do my internship. Someone made a comment basically saying that she wasn't sure how I was able to get my schoolwork done, attend classes, keep up with my internships, work, maintain a home, and still have time to sleep and such.
The third conversation was with one of my best friends. We were talking about going to counseling. I told her that going to counseling really helped me get into touch with a lot of things in my life and helped me to just accomplish a lot of my goals and move on from a lot of what was bothering me.
The more I thought about both of these, I started to realize that they are kind of related. All of it had to do with one thing: knowing yourself. I have certainly not always known myself. But thats one of the great things about getting older. You really start to figure out who you are.
I know my style. I'm a southern girl. I'm pretty girly and kind of preppy. I like button downs, floral skirts, cardigans. So sure, that bedazzled Juicy jumpsuit is probably really cute, but I know Stephanie, and that doesnt say her...
Same thing goes for my schedule. I know that by the end of the day I'm gonna be really tired, so I better finish that load of laundry in the morning. I also know that if I don't know what I have on tap for the entire day that I'm going to get really anxious. As such, I better keep track of my day in my planner.
No matter who you are, what your style is, or how your day goes, learn yourself. Its the best way to make things happen! I'm leaving you guys with a few wise words about knowing ourselves.
xoxo
Thursday, February 21
Eff Your Beauty Standards
Hello lovlies! Hope everyone is having a fantastic Thursday! I got a tax refund today, my girl scout cookies came in, AND I got cancelled at work tonight... so my day is shaping up pretty well.
As I mentioned in my last post, I am going to be posting more about self-esteem, body positivity, and fat acceptance. This is really close to my heart for obvious reasons. I struggled with self-esteem for so long, and have just recently started to really grasp how special I am despite not fitting into America's size standards. Grad school and counseling others has really helped me (and my classmates I'm sure) identify and resolve a lot of our own personal issues. Weight, self-acceptance, and the shame others sometimes try to impart on overweight people was a HUGE thing for me to deal with. For me to say hey, I'm fat and more importantly to accept (even LOVE) that about myself is something I NEVER thought I'd be able to do.
As I REGULARLY preach to my counseling clients... support support support. You can't tackle issues like this alone. Personally, I don't know too many women that are fabulous fat girls (and even fewer who accept it... I have met a few this semester in class. AWESOME.) Anyway, Wanting inspiration about how to dress a plus size body, feel sexy (omg did the fat girl just call herself sexy?! Yep.), and embrace being who I am I turned to where everyone in my generation turns... the internet. Upon searching social media I found a few awesome plus size ladies working hard to raise awareness about the same stuff I was in my bedroom at night contemplating! Sure, they are fewer and farther between than activists for racial or sexual minorities... but they recognize that too many beautiful fat girls aren't living their life the way it deserves to be lived and they are working to change that!
I wrote ALLLL that (verbose, aren't I!?) to lead up to this.... Very rarely do I post words that aren't my own, but today I was on Instagram (@steffiefresh if you want to follow...) and one of those lovely inspirational ladies, plus size model Tess Munster (@tessmunster... follow her too!) (side note: plus size, redhead, AND wearing animal print... she might be my long lost sister!) posted an AWESOME photo and caption that just completely made my day. I had to share it! Below is that Instagram post:
As I mentioned in my last post, I am going to be posting more about self-esteem, body positivity, and fat acceptance. This is really close to my heart for obvious reasons. I struggled with self-esteem for so long, and have just recently started to really grasp how special I am despite not fitting into America's size standards. Grad school and counseling others has really helped me (and my classmates I'm sure) identify and resolve a lot of our own personal issues. Weight, self-acceptance, and the shame others sometimes try to impart on overweight people was a HUGE thing for me to deal with. For me to say hey, I'm fat and more importantly to accept (even LOVE) that about myself is something I NEVER thought I'd be able to do.
As I REGULARLY preach to my counseling clients... support support support. You can't tackle issues like this alone. Personally, I don't know too many women that are fabulous fat girls (and even fewer who accept it... I have met a few this semester in class. AWESOME.) Anyway, Wanting inspiration about how to dress a plus size body, feel sexy (omg did the fat girl just call herself sexy?! Yep.), and embrace being who I am I turned to where everyone in my generation turns... the internet. Upon searching social media I found a few awesome plus size ladies working hard to raise awareness about the same stuff I was in my bedroom at night contemplating! Sure, they are fewer and farther between than activists for racial or sexual minorities... but they recognize that too many beautiful fat girls aren't living their life the way it deserves to be lived and they are working to change that!
I wrote ALLLL that (verbose, aren't I!?) to lead up to this.... Very rarely do I post words that aren't my own, but today I was on Instagram (@steffiefresh if you want to follow...) and one of those lovely inspirational ladies, plus size model Tess Munster (@tessmunster... follow her too!) (side note: plus size, redhead, AND wearing animal print... she might be my long lost sister!) posted an AWESOME photo and caption that just completely made my day. I had to share it! Below is that Instagram post:
"Reposting for my new followers because this is very dear to my 
I dont know about you, but frankly I am tired of getting told what curvy/fat/plus size girls are “allowed” to wear. For everyone that says we cant show our tummies, wear a pencil/form fitting skirt, wear a bikini, wear sleveless tops… YOU can! I want YOU to join me in wearing “daring” fashions & stop hiding your body because society tells you to.Break out those horizontal stripes & hashtag #effyourbeautystandards on instagram & tumblr. We will take back our right to be a total babe regardless of our size..big OR small we all deserve to feel beautiful." - Tess Munster
I dont know about you, but frankly I am tired of getting told what curvy/fat/plus size girls are “allowed” to wear. For everyone that says we cant show our tummies, wear a pencil/form fitting skirt, wear a bikini, wear sleveless tops… YOU can! I want YOU to join me in wearing “daring” fashions & stop hiding your body because society tells you to.Break out those horizontal stripes & hashtag #effyourbeautystandards on instagram & tumblr. We will take back our right to be a total babe regardless of our size..big OR small we all deserve to feel beautiful." - Tess Munster
This really brings a tear to my eye because I wasted 25 years NOT living like this. Nothing in my life has changed my my self-imposed limitations! Every day my mission as a counselor is to help clients break through such limitations. Yours might not be size. I just talk about that because its mine. Whatever it is PLEASE think about moving beyond it and embracing life. #Effyourbeautystandards might sound harsh, but that really is the attitude that makes life happy!
I'd love to hear your thoughts/struggles. Believe it or not, hearing people's feedback REALLY helps, not only with me personally, but when talking to clients too.
xoxo
Wednesday, February 20
It starts with me
You know what annoys me?
"People say... "
"They think..."
Don't you hear this like ALL the time?
I do... and it irritates the heck out of me.
"You know... they say that horizontal stripes make you look fat."
"You know... people say you aren't allowed to wear white pants after labor day..."
Seriously. Who are these people? Why do THEY get to dictate what we can or cannot do and/or wear? Why the hell do we listen to "them"? I've been thinking about this sort of stuff a lot lately. As anyone who knows me personally already is aware, I'm a plus size girl. Hold the phones, I dare say... I'm fat. OMG did I actually say that? Hell yes, I absolutely did!
Here's the thing about it though... the only person who ever calls me fat... is me. Sure sure, there was the rude kid in school who said something out of the way, but that was in middle school, and since I'm 27 now that's sort of way in the past. Nobody at a clothing store is ever like HEY YOU, I know that comes in your size but its horizontal stripes, and that's not something fat girls should wear! The only person who ever tells me things like that is me.
I never really thought about the messages that I told myself until I started grad school. In the counseling field we talk a lot about schema and self talk and all that other cognitive stuff. Anyway, for whatever reason (which I sort of know... but don't want to blast people who helped shaped my thought processes... its not really anyone's fault per se... we just don't realize how messages 'stick') I always corrected myself about things I could do/not do, wear/not wear, think/not think because i was fat.
(side note: FAT is NOT a bad word. Its not an insult. Its just an adjective. Its not insulting to say a girl is a redhead or a guy is black. Its not bad, its just what it.... same with the word fat. So yeah, I call myself that. I also call myself southern, smart, redhead, preppy, white (pale really haha) etc and none of that makes people think I hate my body... neither should fat. Its just how I am... and I don't mind that damn it!)
Ugh... chased a rabbit. Terrible habit. Back to what I was saying... Nobody ever comes up to me and says I can't do something because of my size. I lived with limitations for a LONG time that I thought were from the outside... but now I'm really beginning to see that they are self-imposed. I thought I couldn't get a boy to like me in high school, so I didn't date. NEVER did one of my girlfriends tell me I couldn't get a date, I told myself that... and I didn't try. NEVER has someone told me that I shouldn't wear shorts or a tank top or whatever else, but for a long time I told myself that "people say that." Nobody ever said that I shouldn't have long hair, I just had it in my head that I couldn't pull it off because I was a 'big girl' (thats what called myself back when I was scared of/embarrassed by the word fat.) Seriously, all these ridiculous messages came from INSIDE MY HEAD!?
There was a time when I would have DIED if I had to call myself fat, much less write about it where someone might read it. This would have been a DEEP DARK SECRET that i was keeping from everyone. Then one day I realized... people already know. Ummm duh. People look at me every day, and they can obviously tell that I'm not a size 6. Secondly, it didn't seem to really bother anyone... except me. When I went out for ice cream with my friends, nobody was like "hey fat girl, drop that cone!" I, however, was certain that everyone was looking at me. (How self-centered was I?!) Seriously, who thinks everyone is looking at them when there are delicious deserts around?! I was living life with a set of rules that SUCKED! These rules were self-imposed. I wasn't 'allowed' to live fully because I was fat?! Excuse my bluntness, but thats bull shit. I DONT have to wear things to 'cover up'. I don't have to avoid eating in public. I don't have to pretend I want to be super skinny (I don't btw being fat is part of being me... I own it!), I don't have to lose weight to have a relationship (seriously, my bf is a total hottie!), and I DO NOT have to have a less fulfilling life just because I'm an awesome, fabulous FAT GIRL.
I'm gonna post more about fat acceptance, loving your body, and positive self-talk in the coming days, but for now I leave you with a positive thought below... I'd love to hear your (kind) thoughts about body image! If you don't have something nice to say... well you know!
xoxo
"People say... "
"They think..."
Don't you hear this like ALL the time?
I do... and it irritates the heck out of me.
"You know... they say that horizontal stripes make you look fat."
"You know... people say you aren't allowed to wear white pants after labor day..."
Seriously. Who are these people? Why do THEY get to dictate what we can or cannot do and/or wear? Why the hell do we listen to "them"? I've been thinking about this sort of stuff a lot lately. As anyone who knows me personally already is aware, I'm a plus size girl. Hold the phones, I dare say... I'm fat. OMG did I actually say that? Hell yes, I absolutely did!
Here's the thing about it though... the only person who ever calls me fat... is me. Sure sure, there was the rude kid in school who said something out of the way, but that was in middle school, and since I'm 27 now that's sort of way in the past. Nobody at a clothing store is ever like HEY YOU, I know that comes in your size but its horizontal stripes, and that's not something fat girls should wear! The only person who ever tells me things like that is me.
I never really thought about the messages that I told myself until I started grad school. In the counseling field we talk a lot about schema and self talk and all that other cognitive stuff. Anyway, for whatever reason (which I sort of know... but don't want to blast people who helped shaped my thought processes... its not really anyone's fault per se... we just don't realize how messages 'stick') I always corrected myself about things I could do/not do, wear/not wear, think/not think because i was fat.
(side note: FAT is NOT a bad word. Its not an insult. Its just an adjective. Its not insulting to say a girl is a redhead or a guy is black. Its not bad, its just what it.... same with the word fat. So yeah, I call myself that. I also call myself southern, smart, redhead, preppy, white (pale really haha) etc and none of that makes people think I hate my body... neither should fat. Its just how I am... and I don't mind that damn it!)
Ugh... chased a rabbit. Terrible habit. Back to what I was saying... Nobody ever comes up to me and says I can't do something because of my size. I lived with limitations for a LONG time that I thought were from the outside... but now I'm really beginning to see that they are self-imposed. I thought I couldn't get a boy to like me in high school, so I didn't date. NEVER did one of my girlfriends tell me I couldn't get a date, I told myself that... and I didn't try. NEVER has someone told me that I shouldn't wear shorts or a tank top or whatever else, but for a long time I told myself that "people say that." Nobody ever said that I shouldn't have long hair, I just had it in my head that I couldn't pull it off because I was a 'big girl' (thats what called myself back when I was scared of/embarrassed by the word fat.) Seriously, all these ridiculous messages came from INSIDE MY HEAD!?
There was a time when I would have DIED if I had to call myself fat, much less write about it where someone might read it. This would have been a DEEP DARK SECRET that i was keeping from everyone. Then one day I realized... people already know. Ummm duh. People look at me every day, and they can obviously tell that I'm not a size 6. Secondly, it didn't seem to really bother anyone... except me. When I went out for ice cream with my friends, nobody was like "hey fat girl, drop that cone!" I, however, was certain that everyone was looking at me. (How self-centered was I?!) Seriously, who thinks everyone is looking at them when there are delicious deserts around?! I was living life with a set of rules that SUCKED! These rules were self-imposed. I wasn't 'allowed' to live fully because I was fat?! Excuse my bluntness, but thats bull shit. I DONT have to wear things to 'cover up'. I don't have to avoid eating in public. I don't have to pretend I want to be super skinny (I don't btw being fat is part of being me... I own it!), I don't have to lose weight to have a relationship (seriously, my bf is a total hottie!), and I DO NOT have to have a less fulfilling life just because I'm an awesome, fabulous FAT GIRL.
I'm gonna post more about fat acceptance, loving your body, and positive self-talk in the coming days, but for now I leave you with a positive thought below... I'd love to hear your (kind) thoughts about body image! If you don't have something nice to say... well you know!
xoxo
Saturday, February 9
Spring cleaning
Ok, so it isn't quite spring. Even so, I decided to clean up my blog a bit. I deleted some links, updated my about me, and am planning another couple of things in the coming days. So, what brought this on? Honestly, I'd all but forgotten that I had a blog. I get caught up in an endless cycle of classes, internship, providing counseling services at Winthrop's counseling clinic (side note: if you need some counseling, its FREEEE and really good... ask me about it!!), working, homework, and housework. My blog and my sewing are the two projects that suffer due to my jam packed schedule. Anyway, my friend Wynne (she's adorable btw) mentioned that she stumbled across my blog the other day and read it. She said she loved my writing and I should update my site. Honestly, that is without a doubt the best compliment I could possible get. Sure, any girl loves to be told she's pretty or has cute shoes on, but for me my writing is one of the closest things to my heart. As such, hearing that absolutely made my day...
it also got me thinking about what I needed to do to give my blog a little facelift. I still LOVE my layout and the custom header I made. It took me FOREVER considering I have no idea how to do computer programming and such. So, that stuff will be staying. I have a few really interesting (to me at least) ideas that will be worked into posts in the next few days/weeks. But seriously, who else lets demands and 'have to' stuff get in the way of 'want to' stuff?! I'm sad that I've walked away for something that makes me happy for so long. Writing is therapeutic for me. I write every single day without fail. I really enjoy this format of writing a lot though. When I share a struggle or an important discovery, it makes me feel good. Its nice to think that when I've made a mistake or come to a new realization I can post it here and maybe, just maybe someone will read it and benefit from what I've gone through. Anyway, I'm going to get back to this (I know, I know... I've said it before) because doing what you enjoy is JUST as important as keeping your responsibilities in check. I'm TERRIBLE about carving out time for doing things just for myself. This is one of those things, so I will be MAKING myself devote some serious time to blogging in the next couple weeks.
So, what's you hobby/pastime that sometimes takes a backseat to less fun things?
it also got me thinking about what I needed to do to give my blog a little facelift. I still LOVE my layout and the custom header I made. It took me FOREVER considering I have no idea how to do computer programming and such. So, that stuff will be staying. I have a few really interesting (to me at least) ideas that will be worked into posts in the next few days/weeks. But seriously, who else lets demands and 'have to' stuff get in the way of 'want to' stuff?! I'm sad that I've walked away for something that makes me happy for so long. Writing is therapeutic for me. I write every single day without fail. I really enjoy this format of writing a lot though. When I share a struggle or an important discovery, it makes me feel good. Its nice to think that when I've made a mistake or come to a new realization I can post it here and maybe, just maybe someone will read it and benefit from what I've gone through. Anyway, I'm going to get back to this (I know, I know... I've said it before) because doing what you enjoy is JUST as important as keeping your responsibilities in check. I'm TERRIBLE about carving out time for doing things just for myself. This is one of those things, so I will be MAKING myself devote some serious time to blogging in the next couple weeks.
So, what's you hobby/pastime that sometimes takes a backseat to less fun things?
Monday, November 5
Better.
Its the time of the year when I get REALLY stressed out. Everything is almost due at school. The holidays are approaching which means balancing a work schedule (my line of work doesn't shut down unfortunately), finding time for my family/friend commitments, and of course the dreaded holiday shopping. With all this STUFF, its sometimes hard to still enjoy things. As such, here are five ways I make the day better.
1. Call a loved one. Every day.
CALL (not text) someone you love. Just say hi, catch up etc. For me, its my mom. I call her every single day without exception. Even if its two minutes to say I love you, it always improves my day. Of course you don't have to call the same person every day. I also call my sister a good bit. We prefer Skype to telephone calls. We spend an hour or so about once a week skyping and I always look forward to our chats.
2. Organize.
Clutter leads to stress. Guess what alleviates the stress? Organization. People sometimes think I'm OCD because I clean so much. I just know that I have issues with anxiety. Having a clean organized space lessens my stress and anxiety A LOT, so I just know to stay on top of it. Plus, cleaning is pretty good exercise if you do a good job of it... and exercise helps reduce stress too... its win win!
3. Do something for someone else.
This is one of my favorites! Doing something for someone else makes you feel good! Don't ask for credit or a favor in return. The good feeling is your reward! I most often do little things for my boyfriend since he's right in the same house. I'll wash his work uniform without being asked, leave a little sweet treat on his nightstand, or make him a breakfast when he wakes up on his day off. It makes him happy and that makes me happy...
4. Express yourself.
Blog, sing, journal, paint... do something creative. I do lots of creative things. Some (like writing) I'm pretty good at. Others (like crochet) I'm well, not so good at. Either way, it makes me feel really good to create, express myself, think outside my normal realm of work/school. Who knows, maybe you'll even find something you're really good at!
5. Don't put it off.
This is one I sometimes struggle with. It stinks to go to bed with a sink full of dishes or a dryer full of clothes. Why? Because when you wake up they're still there! Getting it done and waking up without a completely full plate always feels good.
How do you make things better?
1. Call a loved one. Every day.
CALL (not text) someone you love. Just say hi, catch up etc. For me, its my mom. I call her every single day without exception. Even if its two minutes to say I love you, it always improves my day. Of course you don't have to call the same person every day. I also call my sister a good bit. We prefer Skype to telephone calls. We spend an hour or so about once a week skyping and I always look forward to our chats.
2. Organize.
Clutter leads to stress. Guess what alleviates the stress? Organization. People sometimes think I'm OCD because I clean so much. I just know that I have issues with anxiety. Having a clean organized space lessens my stress and anxiety A LOT, so I just know to stay on top of it. Plus, cleaning is pretty good exercise if you do a good job of it... and exercise helps reduce stress too... its win win!
3. Do something for someone else.
This is one of my favorites! Doing something for someone else makes you feel good! Don't ask for credit or a favor in return. The good feeling is your reward! I most often do little things for my boyfriend since he's right in the same house. I'll wash his work uniform without being asked, leave a little sweet treat on his nightstand, or make him a breakfast when he wakes up on his day off. It makes him happy and that makes me happy...
4. Express yourself.
Blog, sing, journal, paint... do something creative. I do lots of creative things. Some (like writing) I'm pretty good at. Others (like crochet) I'm well, not so good at. Either way, it makes me feel really good to create, express myself, think outside my normal realm of work/school. Who knows, maybe you'll even find something you're really good at!
5. Don't put it off.
This is one I sometimes struggle with. It stinks to go to bed with a sink full of dishes or a dryer full of clothes. Why? Because when you wake up they're still there! Getting it done and waking up without a completely full plate always feels good.
How do you make things better?
Sunday, October 7
spend/save
Man, life is crazy, huh? These last couple years it seems like the entire world has hit hard times. I think the key to being happy, even when times are hard is to have balance. We were talking about this at work (which is where I think up lots of my posts) and I thought I'd share. We all agreed that the key to being content is knowing where to spend and where to save. So, where do I spend and where do I save? Its like this:
Saving
1. Media: I like to go to the movies, but for us Netflix is a lot more practical and cheaper. I LOVE to read, and while Barnes & Noble is a fantastic place, buying a used book or going to the library has its charms. I love this local place called the Book Knack where you can trade in books. I trade in stuff I don't want anymore and I get credit toward other used books of my choice. Its a really awesome system that keeps me with new literature even when I'm short on cash.
2. Cleaning: I am OBSESSED with keeping my apartment clean and tidy. Thanks to the wonderfulness that it Pinterest I have found SOOO many short cuts for cleaning. One of my favorites is to make my own febreeze. I also boil orange peels and cinnamon to keep the house smelling great. Soak some peels in a sealed jar of white vinegar for two weeks and you'll have an amazing household cleaner that is safe for your kids or pups. There are lots of ways to save on cleaning products.
3. Mail: I used to mail all my bills every month. After a while all that adds up. Now I've learned to pay just about everything online. It is so handy to just pull up an app on my phone and pay everything in one spot. Its also saves me money which is GREAT!
4. Haircuts: I have some friends who spend spend spend on a haircut, but not me. I spend when it comes to hair products, so my hair is healthy. As such, I don't have to get trims all the time. When I do get a trim I go to a great clips and get the ends clipped. Since I take care of it, I don't have to get drastic cuts and don't need a special stylist.
5. Coffee: MAN, did this used to be a spend!?! However in the recent past I've discovered a great way to make iced coffee. OF COURSE Martha Stewart (my idol) gave me the ideas. Starbucks isn't stealing all my cash anymore!!
Spending
1. Personal grooming: When it comes to makeup, shampoo, skincare I am ok with spending. These products help me stay healthy, put my best foot forward, and feel beautiful so I shell out some cash. I can't say enough about Sephora and how great their makeup products. Since I've begun using higher end makeup products my skin has been much healthier.
2. Pets: I LOVE my girls! Bella and Lilly never fail to brighten my day. Coming home at the end of the day them being so excited makes me so so happy. Since they are so important to me I spend when it comes to them. I spent to get pure bred chihuahuas because I wanted to know what I was getting. I liked knowing that they would stay small and fit in with our lifestyle. I'm ok with paying per month for the vet. Its comforting to be able to take the girls in any time I need to. I also buy them food designed for chihuahuas. Its little just like they are and I like that its small and safer for them. Of course they are well stocked with toys and treats. Spending for my babies is NEVER a problem.
3. Fruit and veggies: I saw a Dr Oz episode about pesticides. With soft skinned fruits (think peaches or blueberries) pesticides actually seep INTO the fruit itself. So washing my fruit isn't helping keep me safe. As such, I try to buy locally when it comes to veggies so I'm not eating all that gunk!
4. Technology: I am a member of the cult. I buy Apple. Say what you want, but my Apple products have lasted forever and never let me down!
5. Treats: every once in a while my FAVORITE splurge is a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Yes, its five bucks, but nobody else has better ice cream. The boyfriend's favorite is candy, so we'll splurge on a big bag of twizzlers for him or we buy a 12 pack of soda. Sometimes we just need a sweet treat at the end of the day.
Spending is fun when you know you can save in other places and pay your bill. Saving is fun when you allow yourself rewards in little ways. Hope this post got you thinking. What are some of your favorite thrifty secrets or fun splurges?
Thursday, July 5
Worry.
Hello all. I'm back. MY life has been crazy for a while now. Admittedly I stopped doing some of the things that I used to love. I let school, work, life get in the way of me having MY time. I used to take plenty of time to keep up my blog. It was where I expressed my thoughts, where I celebrated triumphs, where I sought advice, or wrote out advice for others (which was really for myself most of the time.) Anyway, I just got bogged down in life. I've been stressed and depressed. Anyway, its time for me to do some things for me again... as such I'm back. I know what you're thinking... I've said that before. Its ok... I know that actions speak louder than words, so in five or ten posts I'll say I told you so.
Anyway, something I really struggle with is worry. I'm sure i've posted about this before... but its an ongoing thing, so I'm discussing it again. My bff Kiley and I are always talking about how much we worry. We are always texting or calling to ask the others interpretation of a comment, action, event. I can look objectively at her world and she at mine, but when it comes to our own situations we get all paranoid. So today i started reading about worry. I really liked this quote that I found.
“I am an old man and I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened” - Mark Twain
This describes me totally. I worry about things that never happen. I'm butchering the pig, but nobody wants bacon. It occurred to me today that worry is a behavior. As such I choose to do it. I'm of the opinion that every behavior we choose serves a purpose or meets a need (thats related to my theory of counseling, but you probably don't care about that... unless your one of my classmates in which case refer to choice theory for my basis there haha). Anyway, if this is a behavior (habitual as it may be) I can choose to STOP that behavior. Easier said than done... but following are some ways I intend to accomplish this goal.
First though I found some interesting statistics about worry (yes, from reliable sources). I'm not gonna lie, some of these made me feel stupid for worrying all the time. When it comes to worry, studies have shown the following statistics:
40% never happens – so in essence we are wasting our time by worrying.
30% of what we worry about has already happened. Learn to “let go” and forgive yourself and others. You cannot change the past – no one can. Accept it for what it is and go on.
12% are needless worries, such as what someone else thinks about us.
10% are petty and unimportant such as we worry about what’s for dinner, we worry about being late, we worry about what to wear.
8% of what we worry about actually happens. Of this percentage…
4% of our worries that happen are beyond our control. We cannot change the outcome. These worries may include our health, the death of a loved one or an impending natural disaster. Often times the reality of these events are more bearable than the worry.
4% of what we worry about we have some if not all control over the results. Basically I think this is the consequences of our actions or inaction on the problems and challenges we face.
Given these statistics, you may find it worthwhile asking the following questions: How many times do we work ourselves into frenzy over a situation that is beyond our control? Why do we allow worry to stress us out so much that we become ill? (this is my downfall seriously) Why do we waste our mental energy with worry?
So what can we do? Here's what Ive come up with from a little reading. I'm seriously going to be taking these things into practice ASAP... this worry drains me.
1. Prepare for the worst – Hope for the best. This comes right from the advice of Dale Carnegie in “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”. Accept the worst possible outcome and then take action to improve upon the worst.
2. Get Busy. When you find yourself beginning to worry – get busy on your to-do list. If you don’t have a list – then write one. List your goals and the action steps required to meet them. One of the benefits of your to-do list is you will stop worrying about forgetting something important.
3. Distract Yourself. Call a friend. Read a good book. Watch a funny movie. Take the kids to the park. Take a walk. There’s dozens of things you can do.
4. Get Support. Friends and family can be an excellent source of support. Especially if they will tell you how they see things. Sometimes just talking things out, helps the worry go away.
5. Make a Decision. If you’re worrying about an unresolved personal or business issue – then it’s time to make a decision. Once you decide what to do, you can begin taking steps for the best possible outcome.
6. Confront the Problem Head-On. It’s usually not the problem itself that is causing your worry. It’s usually the anticipation of the problem. How will others be affected or react? Deal with the problem as soon as possible.
7. Practice Relaxing. It is important that you take time to totally relax. Close your eyes take long deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. With each breath tell yourself to relax. It just takes a couple of minutes of this exercise for the tension to leave your body.
8. Listen to CDs. This can be your favorite music, brainwave CDs or behavior modification tapes that are designed to dissolve worry and anxiety. (These do not have to be self-hypnotizing or subliminal – but of course you can choose these types of tapes.)
9. Journal. After writing down everything they are worried about in a journal, most people feel a sense of relief. In writing you may have discovered what you are really afraid of, and then you can objectively work on improving the situation.
10. Take Care of Yourself. Get plenty of rest. Eat a healthy diet and exercise. When you nurture your body and mind, it’s easier to put things in perspective. It’s easier to cope with the unexpected.
11. Count Your Blessings. You have a lot to be thankful for. Look around you … We live in a beautiful world. You can be thankful for your health, your family, your mind, your country, your house, your job, your TV or even your microwave!
12. Monitor Your Thoughts. Be aware of your thoughts and be ready to replace worries with positive thoughts. Be prepared with a positive thought or quote, such as “Calmness is the cradle of power” (Josiah Gilbert Holland).
There are many techniques you can use to stop worrying. The important thing is to consistently use them until the new behavior becomes a habit.If this is a struggle for you like it is for me, I hope it gets better. If you've got something else that helps calm your worry post it in a comment... I know I need all the help I can get.
Anyway, something I really struggle with is worry. I'm sure i've posted about this before... but its an ongoing thing, so I'm discussing it again. My bff Kiley and I are always talking about how much we worry. We are always texting or calling to ask the others interpretation of a comment, action, event. I can look objectively at her world and she at mine, but when it comes to our own situations we get all paranoid. So today i started reading about worry. I really liked this quote that I found.
“I am an old man and I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened” - Mark Twain
This describes me totally. I worry about things that never happen. I'm butchering the pig, but nobody wants bacon. It occurred to me today that worry is a behavior. As such I choose to do it. I'm of the opinion that every behavior we choose serves a purpose or meets a need (thats related to my theory of counseling, but you probably don't care about that... unless your one of my classmates in which case refer to choice theory for my basis there haha). Anyway, if this is a behavior (habitual as it may be) I can choose to STOP that behavior. Easier said than done... but following are some ways I intend to accomplish this goal.
First though I found some interesting statistics about worry (yes, from reliable sources). I'm not gonna lie, some of these made me feel stupid for worrying all the time. When it comes to worry, studies have shown the following statistics:
40% never happens – so in essence we are wasting our time by worrying.
30% of what we worry about has already happened. Learn to “let go” and forgive yourself and others. You cannot change the past – no one can. Accept it for what it is and go on.
12% are needless worries, such as what someone else thinks about us.
10% are petty and unimportant such as we worry about what’s for dinner, we worry about being late, we worry about what to wear.
8% of what we worry about actually happens. Of this percentage…
4% of our worries that happen are beyond our control. We cannot change the outcome. These worries may include our health, the death of a loved one or an impending natural disaster. Often times the reality of these events are more bearable than the worry.
4% of what we worry about we have some if not all control over the results. Basically I think this is the consequences of our actions or inaction on the problems and challenges we face.
Given these statistics, you may find it worthwhile asking the following questions: How many times do we work ourselves into frenzy over a situation that is beyond our control? Why do we allow worry to stress us out so much that we become ill? (this is my downfall seriously) Why do we waste our mental energy with worry?
So what can we do? Here's what Ive come up with from a little reading. I'm seriously going to be taking these things into practice ASAP... this worry drains me.
1. Prepare for the worst – Hope for the best. This comes right from the advice of Dale Carnegie in “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”. Accept the worst possible outcome and then take action to improve upon the worst.
2. Get Busy. When you find yourself beginning to worry – get busy on your to-do list. If you don’t have a list – then write one. List your goals and the action steps required to meet them. One of the benefits of your to-do list is you will stop worrying about forgetting something important.
3. Distract Yourself. Call a friend. Read a good book. Watch a funny movie. Take the kids to the park. Take a walk. There’s dozens of things you can do.
4. Get Support. Friends and family can be an excellent source of support. Especially if they will tell you how they see things. Sometimes just talking things out, helps the worry go away.
5. Make a Decision. If you’re worrying about an unresolved personal or business issue – then it’s time to make a decision. Once you decide what to do, you can begin taking steps for the best possible outcome.
6. Confront the Problem Head-On. It’s usually not the problem itself that is causing your worry. It’s usually the anticipation of the problem. How will others be affected or react? Deal with the problem as soon as possible.
7. Practice Relaxing. It is important that you take time to totally relax. Close your eyes take long deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. With each breath tell yourself to relax. It just takes a couple of minutes of this exercise for the tension to leave your body.
8. Listen to CDs. This can be your favorite music, brainwave CDs or behavior modification tapes that are designed to dissolve worry and anxiety. (These do not have to be self-hypnotizing or subliminal – but of course you can choose these types of tapes.)
9. Journal. After writing down everything they are worried about in a journal, most people feel a sense of relief. In writing you may have discovered what you are really afraid of, and then you can objectively work on improving the situation.
10. Take Care of Yourself. Get plenty of rest. Eat a healthy diet and exercise. When you nurture your body and mind, it’s easier to put things in perspective. It’s easier to cope with the unexpected.
11. Count Your Blessings. You have a lot to be thankful for. Look around you … We live in a beautiful world. You can be thankful for your health, your family, your mind, your country, your house, your job, your TV or even your microwave!
12. Monitor Your Thoughts. Be aware of your thoughts and be ready to replace worries with positive thoughts. Be prepared with a positive thought or quote, such as “Calmness is the cradle of power” (Josiah Gilbert Holland).
There are many techniques you can use to stop worrying. The important thing is to consistently use them until the new behavior becomes a habit.If this is a struggle for you like it is for me, I hope it gets better. If you've got something else that helps calm your worry post it in a comment... I know I need all the help I can get.
Friday, September 9
yep.
This is pretty cool... Gonna try and do these things this week!
Source: edhall.deviantart.com via Lisa on Pinterest
Wednesday, August 17
Worry.
I got told today that I'm a worry wart. This, I suppose, is true. In spite of my best intentions I worry like crazy. My current worry is over some paperwork for my student loans that just is taking a lot more time and effort than it seems like it should.
I am seriously, legitimately struggling to eat and sleep at this point. People keep saying chill out, everything will be fine. THAT drives me insane and it only makes me worry even more. I HATE it when people act like what I'm worried about isn't important... the fact of the matter is that going to grad school is the single most important thing in my life right now, and I feel totally entitled to care about how things are going in that area.
HOWEVER...
"Worry is the sin of distrusting the promise and providence of God, and yet it is a sin that Christians commit perhaps more frequently than any other."- John MacArthur
FACT... That one hit me HARD.
I've been reminded several times over the last few weeks that worry is a sin. We sugar coat it; even make it sound good. It like the better or more important your life is, the more entitled you are to worry about things. That's just not true. Worry focuses on the negative, and if you're a Christian, 1 Corinthians says you have 'the mind of Christ' ... and I'm pretty sure he didn't worry!
I couldn't sleep today (preoccupied with this school nonsense) so instead of sitting and worried, I decided to be productive (and there was nothing to clean). To be honest, the more I think about it, the more I worry about stupid stuff. I worry that I wrote down my work schedule wrong and I won't show up on a day I'm supposed to work. (It should be noted that my schedule never changes.) I worry that I'll forget someone's birthday/anniversary etc and cause them some undue sadness on a special day. I worry that I'll suddenly forget some inconsequential piece of psychological information (Piaget's stages of development? what the letters DSM stand for? Difference between id and ego?) and totally screw up a client. None of this even makes sense. Over the span of my lifetime, worrying accounts for hours and hours of time that I'll never get back. So, I have decided that I'd like to stop wasting my time (especially sleep time!).
If you're not convinced yet to give up your worrying, here are four biblical reasons not to worry.
Worrying Accomplishes Nothing.
Worry is a waste of time. As Pastor Steven put it recently... 'Work don't worry... cause worry dont work.' (poor grammar...good theology he said.) Have a problem? Work as hard as you can to fix it (like me doing all this WU paperwork and running all over campus) and then let God handle the rest. Worrying is just treating the problem like its too big for him... and that simply is not true!
Matthew 6:27-29 "Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are."
Worrying is Not Good for You.
Worrying is destructive to us in many ways. It becomes a mental burden that can even cause us to grow physically sick. Goodness knows I don't need any help with that!!
Proverbs 12:25 "Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up."
Worrying is the Opposite of Trusting God.
The energy that we spend worrying can be put to much better use in prayer. Max Lucado once said no one can pray and worry at the same time.
Matthew 6:30 "And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?"
Philippians 4:6-7 "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
Worrying Puts Your Focus in the Wrong Direction.
When we keep our eyes focused on God, we remember his love for us and we realize we truly have nothing to worry about. God has a wonderful plan for our lives, and part of that plan includes taking care of us. Even in the difficult times, when it seems like God doesn't care, we can put our trust in the Lord and focus on his kingdom. God will take care of our every need. Josh McDowell says is this way; "Knowing that God is faithful, it really helps me to not be captivated by worry. But knowing that He will do what He has said, He will cause it to happen, whatever He has promised, and then it causes me to be less involved in worrying about a situation."
Matthew 6:25 "That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life-whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?"
Matthew 6:31-33 "So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."
1 Peter 5:7 "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."
Hope this finds you all well. If you're worrying, then I'm praying for you... and pray for me about this too. Its by far my biggest struggle.
I am seriously, legitimately struggling to eat and sleep at this point. People keep saying chill out, everything will be fine. THAT drives me insane and it only makes me worry even more. I HATE it when people act like what I'm worried about isn't important... the fact of the matter is that going to grad school is the single most important thing in my life right now, and I feel totally entitled to care about how things are going in that area.
HOWEVER...
"Worry is the sin of distrusting the promise and providence of God, and yet it is a sin that Christians commit perhaps more frequently than any other."- John MacArthur
FACT... That one hit me HARD.
I've been reminded several times over the last few weeks that worry is a sin. We sugar coat it; even make it sound good. It like the better or more important your life is, the more entitled you are to worry about things. That's just not true. Worry focuses on the negative, and if you're a Christian, 1 Corinthians says you have 'the mind of Christ' ... and I'm pretty sure he didn't worry!
I couldn't sleep today (preoccupied with this school nonsense) so instead of sitting and worried, I decided to be productive (and there was nothing to clean). To be honest, the more I think about it, the more I worry about stupid stuff. I worry that I wrote down my work schedule wrong and I won't show up on a day I'm supposed to work. (It should be noted that my schedule never changes.) I worry that I'll forget someone's birthday/anniversary etc and cause them some undue sadness on a special day. I worry that I'll suddenly forget some inconsequential piece of psychological information (Piaget's stages of development? what the letters DSM stand for? Difference between id and ego?) and totally screw up a client. None of this even makes sense. Over the span of my lifetime, worrying accounts for hours and hours of time that I'll never get back. So, I have decided that I'd like to stop wasting my time (especially sleep time!).
If you're not convinced yet to give up your worrying, here are four biblical reasons not to worry.
Worrying Accomplishes Nothing.
Worry is a waste of time. As Pastor Steven put it recently... 'Work don't worry... cause worry dont work.' (poor grammar...good theology he said.) Have a problem? Work as hard as you can to fix it (like me doing all this WU paperwork and running all over campus) and then let God handle the rest. Worrying is just treating the problem like its too big for him... and that simply is not true!
Matthew 6:27-29 "Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are."
Worrying is Not Good for You.
Worrying is destructive to us in many ways. It becomes a mental burden that can even cause us to grow physically sick. Goodness knows I don't need any help with that!!
Proverbs 12:25 "Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up."
Worrying is the Opposite of Trusting God.
The energy that we spend worrying can be put to much better use in prayer. Max Lucado once said no one can pray and worry at the same time.
Matthew 6:30 "And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?"
Philippians 4:6-7 "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
Worrying Puts Your Focus in the Wrong Direction.
When we keep our eyes focused on God, we remember his love for us and we realize we truly have nothing to worry about. God has a wonderful plan for our lives, and part of that plan includes taking care of us. Even in the difficult times, when it seems like God doesn't care, we can put our trust in the Lord and focus on his kingdom. God will take care of our every need. Josh McDowell says is this way; "Knowing that God is faithful, it really helps me to not be captivated by worry. But knowing that He will do what He has said, He will cause it to happen, whatever He has promised, and then it causes me to be less involved in worrying about a situation."
Matthew 6:25 "That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life-whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?"
Matthew 6:31-33 "So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."
1 Peter 5:7 "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."
Hope this finds you all well. If you're worrying, then I'm praying for you... and pray for me about this too. Its by far my biggest struggle.
Friday, August 12
Thanks.
I've had a larger than normal number of views on my blog this week.... perhaps connected to the fact that I've posted? haha. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for reading. I struggle through life just like everyone else, and its nice to have a place to post my triumphs, tribulations, and everything in between. I'd like to think that my small (but loyal) audience is praying with me when things get hard, and thanking God along with me when he does amazing things. Just thought I'd take a little time to show some appreciation. Oh, and if you're writing and sharing your life on a blog, thanks for that too. Its encouraging to see other people's ups and downs.
Closing this short post with whats been encouraging me over the last several day. Happy Friday everyone. =)
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Closing this short post with whats been encouraging me over the last several day. Happy Friday everyone. =)
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Wednesday, August 10
Notice.
This will be a short little update, as I have to be at work shortly, and I'm aiming to get my dishwasher emptied before I leave.... we'll see how that goes.
Anyway, I just wanted to share a little something that was a BIG deal to me today. If you read my last post, you know that I had a big experience at Elevation last weekend. God is really moving in that church and consequently in my personal life. Anyway, the same post that I made I also emailed to what the church refers to as the 'amen corner.' Its just a way to share your story with the staff at Elevation. They sometimes read a story during a sermon or other event.
Tonight I was at an Elevation Rock Hill launch team meeting. As our campus pastor was speaking, he mentioned that he loves to read the stories people email in. I didn't think much of the comment at the time. After the meeting, I introduced myself to Pastor Frank and discussed some outreach opportunities at Winthrop. At the end of the conversation he asked me my last name. I told him, and he immediately said 'didn't you send in an email this week?'
In a church that had 10,000 plus people attend last Sunday, Pastor Frank remembered my name and story specifically. I've never felt so honored by someone that I didn't really know. People say that a 'mega church' can't work. But I'm here to say that's not true. If we each take the time to honor the people that we come into contact with personally then we can create a tight knit group no matter how big the church family is. So, I'm making it my mission to invest personally into whoever God puts into my path... I'd love to know that I had a hand in someone feeling as important as I felt this evening.
Anyway, I just wanted to share a little something that was a BIG deal to me today. If you read my last post, you know that I had a big experience at Elevation last weekend. God is really moving in that church and consequently in my personal life. Anyway, the same post that I made I also emailed to what the church refers to as the 'amen corner.' Its just a way to share your story with the staff at Elevation. They sometimes read a story during a sermon or other event.
Tonight I was at an Elevation Rock Hill launch team meeting. As our campus pastor was speaking, he mentioned that he loves to read the stories people email in. I didn't think much of the comment at the time. After the meeting, I introduced myself to Pastor Frank and discussed some outreach opportunities at Winthrop. At the end of the conversation he asked me my last name. I told him, and he immediately said 'didn't you send in an email this week?'
In a church that had 10,000 plus people attend last Sunday, Pastor Frank remembered my name and story specifically. I've never felt so honored by someone that I didn't really know. People say that a 'mega church' can't work. But I'm here to say that's not true. If we each take the time to honor the people that we come into contact with personally then we can create a tight knit group no matter how big the church family is. So, I'm making it my mission to invest personally into whoever God puts into my path... I'd love to know that I had a hand in someone feeling as important as I felt this evening.
Monday, August 8
Follow.
Here's what's been going on at Elevation. After the video, read below for my experience with FOLLOW.
I've been thinking about sharing my story for some time, and I know for sure now that its time. For a long time I would have said that my walk with Christ began as a child, but now I know that this is not true. I was taken to church as a child, and around age 7 or 8 I got baptized. It was clear that this was what my parents wanted, so I complied. (Bless them for caring about my soul.)
Through out middle and high school I was incredibly involved in church. I was constantly bombarded with lists, rules, regulations, commandments that I had to keep. I was an expert at putting on the Christian act. I kept these rules because my friends did, but I now know that my heart was never in it. I attended a Christian college where I pursued a degree and met people who I most definitely did not expect to find in that environment. Before I knew it, the girl who grew up as an expert at keeping the rules was drinking, partying, in a relationship that did't honor God, and pretty much anything else you could think of. I graduated, got a job, and only found more time and means to live a sinful life. Looking back, it seems like I blinked and my life was out of control. I wasn't an addict, I wasn't pregnant, I wasn't in jail, but I wasn't a Christian either. I was SCARED.
None of the things I were doing made me happy. I knew that I had to figure out this God thing for myself. I realized that I've believed in Jesus for most of my life, but I've never really followed him. There is a big difference I've come to see. I'd been To Elevation a few times, but in early 2011 I decided to commit to regular attendance. The first Sunday I attended Pastor Steven began a series called "Get Back" all about how to recover your spiritual life coupled with a Beatles theme. As the most avid Beatles fan you'd ever find in a 25 year old, I felt like God was saying 'not only do I know what you need to hear, I know EVERYTHING about you.' I knew it was God's way of telling me that this was the beginning of the right journey for me. Over the last several months I've struggled a LOT. I joined an eGroup. I got involved, but I was still wrestling with what it meant to follow Jesus instead of just believing in him. I was still struggling with leaving my old ways in the past. I've been praying for a long time about my next step in following Jesus.
Last Saturday night I attended Blakeney alone. I was sitting close to the front and crying my eyes out as Pastor Steven spoke about following. I knew that the 'dying daily' and the 'carrying my cross' were what I had been missing. At one point he looked directly at my section of the crowd and said "I must follow Jesus for myself." As he continued to speak, those words played over and over in my mind. I couldn't WAIT for him to count to three and send people outside to be baptized. I knew that this was the next step of faith that I had been looking for. I knew I was ready to FOLLOW. I cried as I changed clothes. I cried as I waited in line at the baptismal tank. I'm crying as I think about it now. I've felt anxious for months and months now, but when Pastor Chunks lifted me out of the water I felt at peace like I have never felt before. I know that following instead of believing won't be easy, but I know that it will be worth the sacrifice.
I start grad school classes at Winthrop in a few weeks... right about the time Elevation Rock Hill opens. I can feel God leading me (for the first time in forever) to reach my campus for him. I'm SO excited about the next steps of following Jesus, and I'm proud to say that Elevation was a huge part of my changed life.
Follow from Elevation Church on Vimeo.
I've been thinking about sharing my story for some time, and I know for sure now that its time. For a long time I would have said that my walk with Christ began as a child, but now I know that this is not true. I was taken to church as a child, and around age 7 or 8 I got baptized. It was clear that this was what my parents wanted, so I complied. (Bless them for caring about my soul.)
Through out middle and high school I was incredibly involved in church. I was constantly bombarded with lists, rules, regulations, commandments that I had to keep. I was an expert at putting on the Christian act. I kept these rules because my friends did, but I now know that my heart was never in it. I attended a Christian college where I pursued a degree and met people who I most definitely did not expect to find in that environment. Before I knew it, the girl who grew up as an expert at keeping the rules was drinking, partying, in a relationship that did't honor God, and pretty much anything else you could think of. I graduated, got a job, and only found more time and means to live a sinful life. Looking back, it seems like I blinked and my life was out of control. I wasn't an addict, I wasn't pregnant, I wasn't in jail, but I wasn't a Christian either. I was SCARED.
None of the things I were doing made me happy. I knew that I had to figure out this God thing for myself. I realized that I've believed in Jesus for most of my life, but I've never really followed him. There is a big difference I've come to see. I'd been To Elevation a few times, but in early 2011 I decided to commit to regular attendance. The first Sunday I attended Pastor Steven began a series called "Get Back" all about how to recover your spiritual life coupled with a Beatles theme. As the most avid Beatles fan you'd ever find in a 25 year old, I felt like God was saying 'not only do I know what you need to hear, I know EVERYTHING about you.' I knew it was God's way of telling me that this was the beginning of the right journey for me. Over the last several months I've struggled a LOT. I joined an eGroup. I got involved, but I was still wrestling with what it meant to follow Jesus instead of just believing in him. I was still struggling with leaving my old ways in the past. I've been praying for a long time about my next step in following Jesus.
Last Saturday night I attended Blakeney alone. I was sitting close to the front and crying my eyes out as Pastor Steven spoke about following. I knew that the 'dying daily' and the 'carrying my cross' were what I had been missing. At one point he looked directly at my section of the crowd and said "I must follow Jesus for myself." As he continued to speak, those words played over and over in my mind. I couldn't WAIT for him to count to three and send people outside to be baptized. I knew that this was the next step of faith that I had been looking for. I knew I was ready to FOLLOW. I cried as I changed clothes. I cried as I waited in line at the baptismal tank. I'm crying as I think about it now. I've felt anxious for months and months now, but when Pastor Chunks lifted me out of the water I felt at peace like I have never felt before. I know that following instead of believing won't be easy, but I know that it will be worth the sacrifice.
I start grad school classes at Winthrop in a few weeks... right about the time Elevation Rock Hill opens. I can feel God leading me (for the first time in forever) to reach my campus for him. I'm SO excited about the next steps of following Jesus, and I'm proud to say that Elevation was a huge part of my changed life.
Boring.
I read this article online and was really moved. I just wanted to share it with those of you who might like it. Understand that the rest of this post wasn't written by me... =)
We all long for a radical calling, but monotony can be its own mission.
I was sure God was telling me to quit my landscaping job. I was bound for something more important. The horizon beckoned. So I turned in my notice and embraced unemployment as a divine calling. I spent my hours reading Scripture and praying over maps, nobly trusting God for my provisions. I had a fever of 360 degrees—I wanted to travel the globe. All of it. Four months later I told my girlfriend that the next time I saw her I would ask her to marry me, then I pulled myself out of her arms and boarded a plane. I had some funds, but only for 180 degrees of my round-the-world trip. God would provide.
Six weeks later I was stranded in Southeast Asia with a depleted money belt and the gnawing suspicion that I had missed God somewhere along the way.
Radical is in my resume. Radical is part of our calling. But radical can be dangerous. With seven years of working with college students (and with a personal penchant for the extreme), I offer a couple warnings to complement the needed exhortation to be radical.
Romanticized Discipleship
“What are you doing this summer after classes?” a college student asks his friend late in the spring semester.
“Well, I’m working with an electrician.”
“Oh, OK.”
“What about you? What are your summer plans?”
“I’m actually gonna be living in an orphanage in Africa, loving on those kids and doing some community development stuff.”
“Oh ...”
In conversations like this, it is likely that the 20-year-old working with the electrician will feel spiritually inferior to the 20-year-old who has plane tickets in hand for Kenya. There is also the tendency for the guy with the ticket to feel as though he is a bit more sincere in his devotion to Jesus.
Believe me, I do not wish to discourage young people from boarding flights to Africa. But I also do not wish to disparage electrical work as spiritually insignificant.
Scripture calls us into radical service—but that does not allow others to eviscerate tedious, less “spiritually” glamorous tasks of their meaning in God’s Kingdom. Scripture also calls us to embrace the mundane and ordinary as holy and beautiful: “... aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands” (1 Thessalonians 4:11).
Many of us want to do something awesome, something epic. We tend to think that the more normal, the less “spiritual.” So it is quite possible that our aspirations to be radical stem from dangerous ambitions to perform biography-worthy feats of global glory.
But radical discipleship is not adventure tourism.
Following Jesus is not to be romanticized through impressive Facebook status updates or photos of exotic places on our blog. Discipleship is often ugly, messy and painful. Faithful service will regularly lead us into dull labors and bewildering struggles that would make unexciting press. To romanticize social justice or cross-cultural evangelism is to promote an idealism that will be inevitably vaporized on the field, inadvertently leading to burnout and cynicism.
The first person to be filled with the Holy Spirit for a task in the Bible was not commissioned to lead a battle or to prophesy over Israel. Bezalel (ever heard of him?) was filled with the Spirit to build stuff. To make art. To carve, mold and weave. He was the guy God commissioned to build the tabernacle and its accoutrements (Exodus 31.1-5).
Spirit-anointing does not always propel us into radical action. Instead we may find ourselves entrusted with tedious, meticulous handiwork that feels ... well, boring.
Spiritualized Escapism
I was 20 years old and wracked with angst. I was on my knees with a heart burning so fiercely with passion to serve Christ overseas that I felt I could not go another day without a global assignment, without a divinely issued itinerary in hand.
This was my prayer that day. And I meant every word: “Lord, just whisper a country, and I will walk to it I don’t care how far it is. I don’t care what it costs. Just whisper a place and I will go.”
Had the country been overseas, I would have secretly boarded a cargo ship as a stowaway. I just knew there were more urgent tasks out there than doing my statistics homework.
But I think I was much more interested in a radical leaving than a radical going. The heart behind the prayer was not so much, “Let me serve you, Lord” but, “Lord, get me out of here.”
I wanted to escape the unexciting “local” for the exotic “global.” I wanted freedom from the tedious tasks of the daily grind for the thrilling speed of travel and for the gratifying buzz of experiencing something new. I did not want to do statistics homework—I wanted to fulfill the great commission. I did not want to dig another ditch as a landscaper in the summer heat—I wanted to preach the Word on a distant city street.
As a former college student and a current college pastor, I know it is so difficult for a young person to see how doing their accounting project will glorify God. It is hard to see how finishing the research paper on 18th century art forms can contribute to God’s Kingdom work. Staring at spread sheets, calming grumpy customers or chasing a toddler down all day don't seem like tasks that will make any kind of eternal impact. Aren’t people dying out there from lack of clean water? Aren’t the lost dying without the Gospel?
Yes, but an untested 20-something without the work ethic required for completing the annoying accounting project or the boring research paper will likely be of little help in dire situations overseas. Those assignments can actually be effective training for the arduous labors of missional service. “What ever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord” (Colossians 3:23). Remember how Jesus calls us to faithfulness in the small things (Matthew 25:14-30).
Aching for yonder shores and longingly scanning the distant horizon may well be God’s call on our lives. But it also may be our impatience with the monotonous minutiae of the daily grind. Escapism is not fulfilling the great commission.
Regardless of our location, abroad or at home, all ministry is inescapably local. Every worker in a global context must embrace the monotonous minutiae of a new daily grind after the plane lands—figuring out the postal service, dealing with the cell phone company, conjugating verbs in the slow and tedious study of the language. If we cannot be faithful to do our statistics homework or collaborate with our coworkers, then we may lack the strength of character required for dealing with the meticulous annoyances of a more radical life beyond the romanticized horizon.
Andrew Byers [who wrote this article] leads University Christian Fellowship and is the author of Faith Without Illusions: Following Jesus as a Cynic-Saint (Likewise Books / IVP). He blogs at Hopeful Realism.
We all long for a radical calling, but monotony can be its own mission.
I was sure God was telling me to quit my landscaping job. I was bound for something more important. The horizon beckoned. So I turned in my notice and embraced unemployment as a divine calling. I spent my hours reading Scripture and praying over maps, nobly trusting God for my provisions. I had a fever of 360 degrees—I wanted to travel the globe. All of it. Four months later I told my girlfriend that the next time I saw her I would ask her to marry me, then I pulled myself out of her arms and boarded a plane. I had some funds, but only for 180 degrees of my round-the-world trip. God would provide.
Six weeks later I was stranded in Southeast Asia with a depleted money belt and the gnawing suspicion that I had missed God somewhere along the way.
Radical is in my resume. Radical is part of our calling. But radical can be dangerous. With seven years of working with college students (and with a personal penchant for the extreme), I offer a couple warnings to complement the needed exhortation to be radical.
Romanticized Discipleship
“What are you doing this summer after classes?” a college student asks his friend late in the spring semester.
“Well, I’m working with an electrician.”
“Oh, OK.”
“What about you? What are your summer plans?”
“I’m actually gonna be living in an orphanage in Africa, loving on those kids and doing some community development stuff.”
“Oh ...”
In conversations like this, it is likely that the 20-year-old working with the electrician will feel spiritually inferior to the 20-year-old who has plane tickets in hand for Kenya. There is also the tendency for the guy with the ticket to feel as though he is a bit more sincere in his devotion to Jesus.
Believe me, I do not wish to discourage young people from boarding flights to Africa. But I also do not wish to disparage electrical work as spiritually insignificant.
Scripture calls us into radical service—but that does not allow others to eviscerate tedious, less “spiritually” glamorous tasks of their meaning in God’s Kingdom. Scripture also calls us to embrace the mundane and ordinary as holy and beautiful: “... aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands” (1 Thessalonians 4:11).
Many of us want to do something awesome, something epic. We tend to think that the more normal, the less “spiritual.” So it is quite possible that our aspirations to be radical stem from dangerous ambitions to perform biography-worthy feats of global glory.
But radical discipleship is not adventure tourism.
Following Jesus is not to be romanticized through impressive Facebook status updates or photos of exotic places on our blog. Discipleship is often ugly, messy and painful. Faithful service will regularly lead us into dull labors and bewildering struggles that would make unexciting press. To romanticize social justice or cross-cultural evangelism is to promote an idealism that will be inevitably vaporized on the field, inadvertently leading to burnout and cynicism.
The first person to be filled with the Holy Spirit for a task in the Bible was not commissioned to lead a battle or to prophesy over Israel. Bezalel (ever heard of him?) was filled with the Spirit to build stuff. To make art. To carve, mold and weave. He was the guy God commissioned to build the tabernacle and its accoutrements (Exodus 31.1-5).
Spirit-anointing does not always propel us into radical action. Instead we may find ourselves entrusted with tedious, meticulous handiwork that feels ... well, boring.
Spiritualized Escapism
I was 20 years old and wracked with angst. I was on my knees with a heart burning so fiercely with passion to serve Christ overseas that I felt I could not go another day without a global assignment, without a divinely issued itinerary in hand.
This was my prayer that day. And I meant every word: “Lord, just whisper a country, and I will walk to it I don’t care how far it is. I don’t care what it costs. Just whisper a place and I will go.”
Had the country been overseas, I would have secretly boarded a cargo ship as a stowaway. I just knew there were more urgent tasks out there than doing my statistics homework.
But I think I was much more interested in a radical leaving than a radical going. The heart behind the prayer was not so much, “Let me serve you, Lord” but, “Lord, get me out of here.”
I wanted to escape the unexciting “local” for the exotic “global.” I wanted freedom from the tedious tasks of the daily grind for the thrilling speed of travel and for the gratifying buzz of experiencing something new. I did not want to do statistics homework—I wanted to fulfill the great commission. I did not want to dig another ditch as a landscaper in the summer heat—I wanted to preach the Word on a distant city street.
As a former college student and a current college pastor, I know it is so difficult for a young person to see how doing their accounting project will glorify God. It is hard to see how finishing the research paper on 18th century art forms can contribute to God’s Kingdom work. Staring at spread sheets, calming grumpy customers or chasing a toddler down all day don't seem like tasks that will make any kind of eternal impact. Aren’t people dying out there from lack of clean water? Aren’t the lost dying without the Gospel?
Yes, but an untested 20-something without the work ethic required for completing the annoying accounting project or the boring research paper will likely be of little help in dire situations overseas. Those assignments can actually be effective training for the arduous labors of missional service. “What ever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord” (Colossians 3:23). Remember how Jesus calls us to faithfulness in the small things (Matthew 25:14-30).
Aching for yonder shores and longingly scanning the distant horizon may well be God’s call on our lives. But it also may be our impatience with the monotonous minutiae of the daily grind. Escapism is not fulfilling the great commission.
Regardless of our location, abroad or at home, all ministry is inescapably local. Every worker in a global context must embrace the monotonous minutiae of a new daily grind after the plane lands—figuring out the postal service, dealing with the cell phone company, conjugating verbs in the slow and tedious study of the language. If we cannot be faithful to do our statistics homework or collaborate with our coworkers, then we may lack the strength of character required for dealing with the meticulous annoyances of a more radical life beyond the romanticized horizon.
Andrew Byers [who wrote this article] leads University Christian Fellowship and is the author of Faith Without Illusions: Following Jesus as a Cynic-Saint (Likewise Books / IVP). He blogs at Hopeful Realism.
Friday, June 3
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