organizing!

OMG!  I'm posting.  What in the world is going on?!  I know, I know... I'm not even going to say that my posts will be more regular because I never meet my goals where blogging is concerned.

Anyway, as you already know if we are real life friends (or if you read my blog regularly) I am a super organized person.  I've just found that if I keep everything together I have a much better day! I was telling a colleague today at the hospital where I intern that I spend a few minutes at the start of my day getting ready and organizing.  I use my iCal, Evernote, and a great app for lists called Wunderlist.  I also have a Moleskine planner like this one...

I also LOVE Moleskine squared cashiers notebooks... They are great for lists, doodles, journaling, and keeping track of ideas. 

Another thing I use is a daily planning page. I first saw some on Pinterest and loved the idea.  Anyway, I took some time and made my own page.  I start filling it out when I get up in the morning.  I print a week's worth on Sunday night and keep them in my notebook.  Then I add to them during the week. I include my top 5 things to accomplish that day, meetings, how much water I need to drink, inspirational quotes, something I'm thankful for, plus other odds and ends. Several people have asked for a copy of my daily planning page, so I thought I'd post it here.  Many people charge for this kinda stuff, but I don't think thats necessary.  I do ask though that if you pass it along to someone else, refer them back to my blog or pinterest page so I can get some traffic and credit!  

Thanks!  Enjoy your more organized life!

Yowza!

Today one of my grad school friends commented something to the effect of "I didn't know you had a blog..."

WHOOPS. I have neglected it for far too long. I used to actually have readers. I used to have a kind of theme going. Life got in the way and my blog has been unloved for the last few months. Well I'd love to update everyone on whats been going on, but so much has passed that I am not sure I can even think of everything...

I finished last semester with a 4.0 at school. This semester seems to be our hardest. I'm working hard, but I dont know what my 4.0 will look like after this semester. I am doing my practicum at an elementary school this semester and I LOVE it. I am having lots of fun with the kids and learning tons of new things.

I've been sick for the last week and a half. Finally I am starting to get over this bronchitis. I missed school and work. It sucked to be stuck in the house all week, but at least now I can tell i am getting a little better.

That's pretty much all thats been going on in my life. More to come soon... Thanks Spencer for inspiring me to get back to my blogging!

Hey strangers!!

I keep promising myself that I'm going to get back to blogging, but as of yet it hasn't happened. Maybe this is the start of that?

Anyway, today will just be a little life update...

Where to start?!

1. I changed my concentration at school. I'm working on a masters of education. My major is counseling and development. Until last week my concentration was clinical mental health counseling. As of today, I'm happy to say that I am now a school counseling student. Needless to say, my professors and classmates were pretty surprised when I announced my decision. I got stuck in a school practicum this semester even though it wasn't my area of choice. I DREADED starting there. Turns out I REALLY liked it. My professor and the school's counselor were so encouraging and helpful. I am a firm believer that God shows us where he wants us to be, and this is one of the most clear instances of that I've ever experienced. I absolutely cannot wait to finish school and start working in a school helping kids!

2. I'm getting pretty domestic. I bought a crock pot which i LOVE. I've made some awesome dinners in it. I NEVER thought I'd like cooking, but I'm getting really good at it. So, feel free to come over for dinner some time! Also, I'm currently decorating for Christmas. Yes, I know its early, but I just couldn't wait any more! I love glitter and sparkles and good holiday smells! I feel like I'm definitely moving into the next stage of my life, and I couldn't be more excited! I'm going to Ikea (with a GIFT CARD!!!) today to hopefully redo my bathroom. SO excited. My little apartment had really become a nice cozy home over the last several months. My life is so busy and stressful... coming home to my little haven is one of my favorite things about life!

3. My BF is moving home in a WEEEEEEEK! I am SO excited that he'll be living here with me all the time! I know some people think its a bad decision... we're too young, its too soon, we need to wait for marriage. I know that living together is what's right for us, and I can't wait for this next step in our relationship. God has blessed me with someone who really cares for me, listens to me, supports me, and makes me laugh. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world that I'll get to have him around every day. Spending time with him and taking care of him makes me happier than anything else. Its impossible to say how blessed my life is thanks to him! <3

4. Just finished the newest Nicholas Sparks novel "The Best of Me." Its FANTASTIC. IF you know me at all, you know I am a Sparks fanatic. I've read everything he has written multiple times. So, when I say this is my favorite of his books, that means something. haha. Definitely check it out! Its a great read... oh, but get a box of tissues!

5. I am SO thankful for my great doctor. I talked a lot with Dr. B about my struggles with anxiety. He has been wonderful with helping me take control of the situation. That combined with some wonderful advice from one of my favorite professors has helped me really begin to get a handle on my stress and anxiety. It consumed a big part of my life for a long time and I finally feel a little relieved. Its not totally under control and I think i have quite a ways to go, but its good to know that things are getting better!

Ok, that's all for now. What's going on with you?

Gestalt.

I'm POSTING! A full time job, long distance relationship, and full time load of grad school classes has left me pretty drained... but I finally have something I really want to share. Its SORT of counseling/psychology related, but it applies to everyone, so keep reading. Oh, and a life update may be coming soon... I hope.


Gestalt was originally a German word roughly akin to 'shape' or 'form'. Its English meaning is generally one of unity or holism... that's to say the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. This is one of the most fascinating and beautiful concepts I've encountered since starting grad school.

The Gestalt Prayer was written by Fritz Perls, founder of Gestalt Therapy (not to be confused with Gestalt Theoretical Psychotherapy and definitely not with Gestalt psychology).

The Gestalt Prayer
I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.
(Fritz Perls, 1969)


Taken on its own instead of being interpreted through the lens of Gestalt Therapy (which is tough for me after learning all about the therapy in class) it's quite a confident message of emotional independence, of sorting your own 'thing' out before getting tangled up with someone else.

Walter Tubbs published a poem called Beyond Perls in response. Apparently its quoted in The Road Less Travelled... clearly it was famous in its own rite. The 'I and Thou' line is a reference to Martin Buber (a philosopher) and its said Professor Tubbs was weaving other thinkers into this as well. Even so, you can understand it without a psychology background or knowledge of counseling theory... and its lovely.


Beyond Perls
If I just do my thing and you do yours,
We stand in danger of losing each other
And ourselves.

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations;
But I am in this world to confirm you
As a unique human being,
And to be confirmed by you.

We are fully ourselves only in relation to each other;
The I detached from a Thou
Disintegrates.

I do not find you by chance;
I find you by an active life
Of reaching out.

Rather than passively letting things happen to me,
I can act intentionally to make them happen.

I must begin with myself, true;
But I must not end with myself:
The truth begins with two.
(Walter Tubbs, 1972)



I'm more fond of Perls prayer, though both have striking points. Which do you prefer?

Praise!

Some great things have been happening over the last few days...

1. Everything is squared away with school! YAAY! I start classes tomorrow!

2. elevation RH got approved for Northwestern high school. PTL!

3. I've met tons of new people volunteering on the Elevation RH launch team! They are AWESOME!

4. I got my student loan refund. It put me in really good shape on my bills. Its nice to not feel pressured for a change.

5. I got an iPhone today. Its incredible. I LOVE it. If you wanna text me, same number.

6. I have worked a TON of days in a row, and finally I will have a three day weekend this week! Can't WAIT for Friday!

7. This weekend I get to go to the beach and see Harrison! I've been super lonely since he moved away, so I am thrilled to go and see him FINALLY! I cannot wait to spend the weekend with my favorite guy! PLUS I haven't been to the beach all summer!! I am beyond excited!

Worry.

I got told today that I'm a worry wart. This, I suppose, is true. In spite of my best intentions I worry like crazy. My current worry is over some paperwork for my student loans that just is taking a lot more time and effort than it seems like it should.

I am seriously, legitimately struggling to eat and sleep at this point. People keep saying chill out, everything will be fine. THAT drives me insane and it only makes me worry even more. I HATE it when people act like what I'm worried about isn't important... the fact of the matter is that going to grad school is the single most important thing in my life right now, and I feel totally entitled to care about how things are going in that area.

HOWEVER...

"Worry is the sin of distrusting the promise and providence of God, and yet it is a sin that Christians commit perhaps more frequently than any other."- John MacArthur

FACT... That one hit me HARD.

I've been reminded several times over the last few weeks that worry is a sin. We sugar coat it; even make it sound good. It like the better or more important your life is, the more entitled you are to worry about things. That's just not true. Worry focuses on the negative, and if you're a Christian, 1 Corinthians says you have 'the mind of Christ' ... and I'm pretty sure he didn't worry!

I couldn't sleep today (preoccupied with this school nonsense) so instead of sitting and worried, I decided to be productive (and there was nothing to clean). To be honest, the more I think about it, the more I worry about stupid stuff. I worry that I wrote down my work schedule wrong and I won't show up on a day I'm supposed to work. (It should be noted that my schedule never changes.) I worry that I'll forget someone's birthday/anniversary etc and cause them some undue sadness on a special day. I worry that I'll suddenly forget some inconsequential piece of psychological information (Piaget's stages of development? what the letters DSM stand for? Difference between id and ego?) and totally screw up a client. None of this even makes sense. Over the span of my lifetime, worrying accounts for hours and hours of time that I'll never get back. So, I have decided that I'd like to stop wasting my time (especially sleep time!).

If you're not convinced yet to give up your worrying, here are four biblical reasons not to worry.

Worrying Accomplishes Nothing.


Worry is a waste of time. As Pastor Steven put it recently... 'Work don't worry... cause worry dont work.' (poor grammar...good theology he said.) Have a problem? Work as hard as you can to fix it (like me doing all this WU paperwork and running all over campus) and then let God handle the rest. Worrying is just treating the problem like its too big for him... and that simply is not true!

Matthew 6:27-29 "Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are."


Worrying is Not Good for You.

Worrying is destructive to us in many ways. It becomes a mental burden that can even cause us to grow physically sick. Goodness knows I don't need any help with that!!

Proverbs 12:25 "Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up."

Worrying is the Opposite of Trusting God.


The energy that we spend worrying can be put to much better use in prayer. Max Lucado once said no one can pray and worry at the same time.

Matthew 6:30 "And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?"

Philippians 4:6-7 "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Worrying Puts Your Focus in the Wrong Direction.

When we keep our eyes focused on God, we remember his love for us and we realize we truly have nothing to worry about. God has a wonderful plan for our lives, and part of that plan includes taking care of us. Even in the difficult times, when it seems like God doesn't care, we can put our trust in the Lord and focus on his kingdom. God will take care of our every need. Josh McDowell says is this way; "Knowing that God is faithful, it really helps me to not be captivated by worry. But knowing that He will do what He has said, He will cause it to happen, whatever He has promised, and then it causes me to be less involved in worrying about a situation."

Matthew 6:25 "That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life-whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?"

Matthew 6:31-33 "So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."

1 Peter 5:7 "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."


Hope this finds you all well. If you're worrying, then I'm praying for you... and pray for me about this too. Its by far my biggest struggle.

accomplished!

I'm feeling accomplished! I have been straight up stalking winthrop's internet data base for a week to see what I made in my summer classes. It has been driving me INSANE not to know. I feel certain that nobody else in my program was nearly as obsessed as me. haha.

Anyway, I had dinner (AT MOE'S!!!) with my sister tonight and she totally related. I'm SO blessed to have her going to law school while I work on grad school. Its so nice to have someone who understands the stress.... because its certainly different than stress from other sources.

My stalking paid off today. I made As in ALL my classes. I was SOOOOOO excited to see a 4.0 beside GPA! Just thought I'd share. God is so good! I cant wait to get started on fall classes!

thankful.

Well, I've had an odd week so far. I sprained my ankle Saturday night at work. Even so, I'm thankful for people and things in my life that have gone well...

1. My coworkers on my floor were SO sweet when I hurt my foot. Roxxie wrapped it up for me (which saved me from absolutely dying from the pain!) and the rest of the third shift staff really picked up the slack when I couldn't do everything I normally do. Ms. Orr even switched schedules with me so I'd have a night off to rest and recover. I was SOO grateful for a little time to rest.

2. My wonderful step dad Jon came all the way to my house and picked up my laundry. Then he and my mom washed, dried, and folded it and he brought it back all nice and clean. I was worried about how I'd get that big basket over to my apartment's laundry room, but my family saved the day and took care of everything! I LOVE them!

3. I got an email today from a professor that asked me to call her and discuss an assignment we'd turned in for class. I was SO nervous, but I just went ahead and called her. Turns out that she thought I did a great job! She gave me some great feedback on things I could improve and told me that I was doing well and she was excited about my future with the program. It made my entire week good to hear such encouraging words! I was so excited I had to call my mom and tell her!

4. Harrison's been keeping me company since I'm crippled at the moment. Its nice to have someone to sit around and watch movies, eat Mike & Ike's and such with... even if he does fall asleep halfway through. =)

5. Summer session of grad school is almost over. I can't believe I have survived and even done relatively well. It was a whirlwind experience to say the least! I went out for dinner and drinks after class with everyone last weekend. I'm really excited about learning and becoming a counselor, but I am also really excited about the people I'm spending the next two years with. The other people in my cohort are so nice! Everyone is really smart and they are all so eager to help each other out. I feel really lucky to be sharing this experience with so many amazing new friends.

6. Its been really nice to relax in my apartment over the last few days while I've been hurt. I got new sheets the day before I got hurt... I think that was God's way of making it all a little bit better! I've certainly had time to break them in over the last few days! I am so blessed to have my own little place. Its clean and quite and comfortable. Its so nice to have a place thats such an expression of me. I know that not everyone has such a nice place to come home to, so I am so grateful!

7. If you're reading this then I'm thankful for you too! Thanks for checking in with me! =) Now, leave a comment and tell me whats going on with you!

Test.

Tonight I was in the first session of my developmental psychology class. Dr. Crews emailed us the first reading assignment a few weeks ago and I knocked it out immediately. Tonight he uttered those dreaded words... please put everything away except a pen.

After a pop quiz which killed the spirit of the entire class I did better than many people around me, but nowhere near where I'd like to preform on my first test of grad school. Dr. Crews began to speak. He said that the grade didn't count and that we could retrieve our aper after class. He said that he didn't want to pass out the papers and see the grades at all.

Dr. Crews spent the next minute talking to us about our purpose in grad school. He told us that the only people in our program that care about grades we us, the students. Our professors care about facilitating our learning and leading us on the path of learning about ourselves and discovering how to be effective counselors. He assured us that we would have academic successes and failures while we were at Winthrop, but that those weren't the most important aspect of our experience. He told us that he was going to give us just enough information to make us dangerous as a counselor. Its our responsibility to make the most of our learning experience and to work toward being a responsible, competent practitioner.

Throughout this encouraging talk I kept thinking of a passage in Colossians...


Colossians 3:23 (The Message)
22-25 Servants, do what you're told by your earthly masters. And don't just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you'll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you're serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn't cover up bad work.



How hard is it for us to remember to do everything as if for God when we are forced into doing things we do not like? I mean sometimes you just don't feel like finishing the dishes, getting up on time, heading in to work, reading another chapter before class. This is especially daunting for those of us who like to be in control. The simplest task can become enormous when we dislike it. But, when we approach the task from a different place-- when we do it out of love for the Lord, we often find that the task is not as bad as we thought.

For me, things aren't difficult because I don't like them... but no matter how much you appreciate school or a job, sometimes you'd rather just get some sleep or see your family. I'm finding that sacrifice and discipline are easier when you keep in mind why you're doing what you do. Even in the midst of suffering, if we approach it from the standpoint that there is a purpose in it from and for God, we can endure anything.

I found encouragement in an unexpected source today, and just wanted to share.

A brief brief.

This is going to be a relatively short post. Thats mainly due to the fact that I have zero time to spare these days. Just wanted to post a quick update since I started grad school classes this week. God REALLY blessed me with this opportunity, and I thought i was well aware of that until I went to class. Then I really realized what an experience this is going to be. My professors are intelligent and accomplished and seem really passionate about preparing us to be good therapists. My classmates have all been really friendly and seem like a great group of people to go through this process with. I've already been assigned a healthy amount of work, but honestly, I am SO excited about all of it that I don't even mind sacrificing to get everything done. I can already se that this is going to be difficult at times, but that I'm not only going to learn a lot about helping others, but about God, and myself too.

Thanks to everyone who has been praying about this with me. Love you!


"Did you ever observe to whom the accidents happen? Chance favors only the prepared mind." - Louis Pasteur

Blessings.

Hey guys. Happy Friday... at least I THINK its Friday. Since I've started working nights I'm a little confused about what day it is. haha

Anyway, I've been thinking about some things and I'd really like your input. There were several things that I've been praying for since the beginning of 2011. These mainly included getting promoted at work to a job with more hours each week, getting into grad school, finding an apartment once April got married, and paying for school. God has blessed me beyond measure as each and every thing I prayed about has happened. I really am just in awe of the way things have happened in 2011 so far.

Ok, so here's what I'm concerned about. Working nights is really taking a toll on me. I am getting plenty of sleep, but I'm not at all into a routine. I've not seen family or friends much. I didn't make it to small group last week either. I've slept, read for class, and worked this week. I really don't want to neglect people or things in my life... especially the people who so diligently prayed and supported me while I was in the process of getting to where I am now. I'm praying that I'm able to fit everything new into my life without sacrificing any of the people or things that I already love.

Ok, so this is where you come in. I've been looking for some scripture or a blog or maybe a sermon about making the most of God's blessings in your life. I've spent a lot of my life thinking about where I wanted to be... and God is really providing a way for me to get there. I'm really passionate about making all of this work together. So, if any of you readers can provide some words of wisdom I'd be GREATLY appreciative!

Love you guys!

slack.

Ugh. Remember when I used to be really committed to my blog?! I have no idea why I'm so slack lately.

I just started working as the team leader on third shift. I'm trying to get all the reading finished for my first week of classes. Adjusting to a new schedule of sleep, eating, and all that is KILLING me.

I'm not sure exactly how most people who work weird hours schedule their time. I personally have found myself sleeping a lot more than I did when I was working first shift. Oddly enough, I was told that the opposite was more likely.

I keep getting emails from professors with reading assignments for class this summer. So far I'm keeping up pretty well. I've found that reading a few pages every time I have a free minute (waiting in lines, on break at work, right before bed) has made it pretty easy to get everything done. Hopefully I'll continue to keep up with the pace of grad school. I'm sure its likely to get more strenuous, but I'm actually pretty excited for this particular challenge.

I'm already looking forward to getting through this stage of my life though. I can already see that working full time and going to school full time is going to be a long, difficult process. I know that it will be worth it in the long run, but I'm beginning to see how much I'm gonna have to sacrifice for the next few years.

YES!

So. Its official. I got the letter in the mail today.

I GOT INTO GRADUATE SCHOOL!

I am SO excited that I can hardly stand it. Plenty of people kept telling me that I would get in, but I honestly didn't think that I would. All I can say is that I feel incredibly blessed. God is so good. He truly answered my prayer. I'm so grateful to all of you who were praying and thinking positive thoughts for me.

I can't wait to get to work!

Calling.

Tomorrow is a BIG, BIG day for me. I am interviewing for a spot in graduate school at Winthrop next semester. (side note: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE say a prayer for me!) For a while I've been hesitant to even talk about the application process. Inevitably if I tell people about it, they'll ask for a follow up... and if I don't get in, well, that won't be a fun conversation. Even so, here I am writing about it. Why? Only because it relates to something that I think will make a good blog post. =)

One of the questions in the essay process, and for that matter, a question most people ask me when they hear that I work in mental health, is why I got involved in such a stressful field. What really makes anyone go into a specific career? I've been chewing on these ideas lately. The one word that's been floating around since the graduate school application process began... CALLING. Being that Winthrop is a secular school, I didn't discuss this concept at length in my essay, but I think its definitely something worth sharing with my small, but faithful blog audience.

Of course to a certain extent every follower of Christ has the same calling. Mark 12:28-31 makes that calling clear:

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

But what about the career God wants you to have? This part isn't QUITE so clear in the Bible... I had to do a lot of reading and asking questions and praying about this. I did end up finding some interesting stuff though. And now, I'll share.

Our secondary calling is usually related to our job or career. Each secondary calling is different. How does God call us to a vocation? Here are some examples from the Bible:

God calls us directly: Abraham and Paul... he literally TOLD them what they were supposed to do.
God places a desire in your heart: Isaiah... He asked God to send him based on his own desire to serve others.
God takes some people along a path they would not have chosen: Daniel... he didn't know where he was going until he got there.
God offers an attractive option: Stephen... he was called as one of the seven in Acts 6.

One thing that I found interesting was that there were almost always other people involved in someone figuring out their calling. Often times God speaks through people, so why not about my calling in life?

For example, I can pinpoint two specific professors in my undergraduate education who REALLY inspired me. Both were intelligent, Godly men who practiced psychology in addition to teaching counseling and psychology classes.Their passion, dedication to helping others, and command of their field of study brought about a desire in me to study counseling. At the time I didn't recognize that this might be God's way of pointing me toward his purpose for my professional life, but in retrospect it makes a lot of sense. Interestingly enough though, those men didn't provide me with anything that I didn't already possess. They merely used the gifts and talents God gave them... and showed me ways that I could use mine.

As I was beginning the grad school process I was reading Pastor Steven's book "Sun Stand Still." Two sentences REALLY spoke to me:

I AM ABLE TO FULFILL THE CALLING THAT GOD HAS PLACED ON MY LIFE.
I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills [his purpose] for me. - Psalm 57:2

I AM FULLY RESOURCED TO DO EVERYTHING GOD HAS CALLED ME TO DO.
Remember the LORD your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath. - Deuteronomy 8:18

It was encouraging to know that I could do whatever God called me to do. But more than that I was encouraged by the thought that my personality, interests, talents are a way to know WHAT God has called me to do. God has provided me with certain resources that nobody else has. It follows that he gives me (and you) the talents necessary to fulfill the calling that he has for us. Obviously, I'm not athletic... God isn't calling me to the NBA. I am good at relating to people. God doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called. What am I getting at exactly?

Yes, look to others to help you discover God's calling on your life... because they will help you understand yourself. Things I've been thinking about in this area...

Passion: What motivates you?
For me its all about relationships. Most things I enjoy have to do with other people. Whether its spending time with my family/friends/boyfriend, my work, or just social media I really like connecting.

Talent: Understand your gifts, and then seek work that matches them well.
I'm told I'm good with words. I pretty much never meet a stranger. I am good at building a rapport or finding a common bond with others.

Life experience: What has happened to you?
I want to work with teenage girls, helping them develop a positive self-image. Why? Because I know what it feels like to be a girl with a terrible opinion of herself. I know being a teenage girl is HARD.

Opportunity: Is there an open door?
My job at New Hope (working with teen girls) fell into my lap. I prayed and it showed up.

Community: Listen to the voice of others.
That professor I mentioned... He was the one who suggested that I apply to New Hope, and that ultimately counseling might be the field for me.

Joy—not happiness; joy.
As Dallas Williard puts it in Divine Conspiracy, “The deepest longings of our heart confirm me in my original calling.”

I must add a warning though. Calling, because it is so vital, presents us with moral challenges: First, our work should not drive us: Vocation is not about doing, but being. Second, our work should not trump family. A healthy sense of calling ought to lead to wise choices and good boundaries. Vocations, careers, jobs, and work flow from the primary calling: serving and loving God. Although secular minded people may not want to admit it, there is no calling without a Caller. Because there is a Caller, I have a calling... and so do YOU. If you're still looking, then I pray that you find it.

And if I don't get into Winthrop? Do I doubt my calling? Absolutely not. His ways are not my ways, so if Winthrop is not the pathway He has for me, then I look forward to seeing where he will take me, and I pray that I will have the wisdom to know the right opportunity when it comes around... and I pray the same for you.

30.

Sometimes I want to write a blog, but I don't really know what to write about. I am not really under the impression that anyone reads my blogs, but I for some reason worry about it when I haven't written in a while. Its strange, I know. I suppose I don't want to disappoint the attentive two person audience... such a people pleaser. ugh. I'm not sure why I start out by saying that, because I actually have something to write about today.

Yesterday while I was at work I was talking to a coworker, Mr.Mac. Mac works part time at NHC and is a teacher and coach the rest of the time. We started talking about high school and he pointed out to me that its basically 3 years until my ten year reunion. He told me to fix anything I needed to fix now before I had to see those people again. hahaha

Now I don't care at all about impressing people from high school, and I probably won't even go to that reunion anyway. So, why am I writing all this then? Well, that conversation with Mr. Mac got me thinking about things that I want to do... so here's my list of thirty things I want to do before I am thirty....

1. Get my picture taken on the zebra walk at Abbey Road.
2. finish my masters degree
3. write a book of some sort
4. new years eve in times square
5. take a surfing lesson
6. learn to say 'i love you' in 50 languages
7. learn to play a song on a musical instrument (any will do)
8. take a dancing class
9. take a trip by train
10. go scuba diving.
11. drive across the country.
12. visit the Grand Canyon.
13. see the Sydney Opera house in Australia
14. go to the Smithsonian (I feel like I should have done this already)
15. Mardi Gras
16. learn to play chess.
17. become a wine connoisseur
18. read ever book that won the Pulitzer prize for fiction
19. watch all of AFI's 100 funniest movies
20. be able to donate an entire paycheck to charity
21. Meet Justin Timberlake! =)
22. get over my fear of needles and donate blood
23. own my own home.
24. have an article/research published in a psychological journal.
25. pay off student loans.
26. understand anything about my finances
27. POSSIBLY get married... (we will see about that one)
28. spend a year as a vegetarian
29. build an impressive record collection
30. watch the Braves win a world series.


OK. thats the list for now... if you know anything I should add then let me know =)

whoops.

I'm the worst blogger ever.
Lots of stuff has taken my attention away from my blog.

I am trying to get a master's degree. That may take a million years, but one day I'll be a therapist. I work first shift at NHC, but somehow I tend to find myself there quite frequently on second shift.

My wonderful roommate April and I have been having lots of quality time... which I love. Our other girlfriend Rachel has been rounding our our trio lately. We got cable after a year and a half without it, so there was LOTS of Jersey Shore to catch up on... ok I'm kidding about Jersey Shore (maybe. haha)

And lastly, and probably most significantly, I'm single now. After a year and a half of what I now know was a TOTALLY one sided relationship I'm back on the market... and being single is hard work. I was with D for so long, that I don't really even know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I will say that the on again and off again drama that I went through taught me lots and lots about what I want in a man. The list is lengthy, but flexible and I think thats a good thing.

The thing on my mind at present though is the idea of a guy who is older than me.. April says I need to ditch the younger boys and I think maybe she might be right. I guess a 21 year old and a 25 year old can be a lot farther apart than just the 4 actual years... According to that whole half your age plus 2 thing I could date someone who's 38 and thats ok.... hmmmm. Something to think about I guess.

More blogging later. I've been watching 48 hours murder mysteries... I think I need to go lock my door...