Moving on

I haven't posted on my blog since 2014.

To be honest, I'm surprised that I remembered the password to my account.

Thats now long its been since I typed anything, shared anything. I'd write about everything that's been going on since then, but that'd be more of a memoir than a blog post.  Let's see... I graduated from graduate school, met a guy, started dating that guy, got engaged to that guy, married that guy, took a job, moved to Charlotte. I've made friends and lost friends. My step dad died from cancer.  I took a big step away from my faith for a while in the throes of grief. Now I'm running full tilt toward God, trying my best not to get back to where I was, but to move past that and find where I'm meant to be now.

When I stopped blogging, it was right around the time that we found out my dad was really sick. I stopped doing a lot of different things around then. I stepped away from so many things, not because I didn't want them, but because I just needed more time to process what was happening and cope with how our lives were changing. Now, I think that I'm done the grieving process. I still miss my dad every single day, and I don't think that this will ever change. Now however, when I think about him, the majority of my memories are of the good times and not thoughts about how lost I feel without him. I've learned to accept this reality and I've come to deal with the fact that I won't be seeing him again until the Lord calls me to heaven. I'm not the biggest fan of this, but I've accepted it. Plus, that reunion will totally be worth the wait.

So, I  went through a HUGE crisis of faith. I wasn't MAD at God necessarily. I just wasn't sure that I was going to make it through my dad's passing and still be able to be the person God had called me to be.  I was struggling to function at a minimum, much less be all that God called me to be.  So, quite simply, I didn't try for a while. I didn't stop believing (Journey will be glad to hear it...) and I didn't 'fall into sin' as we christians like to say. I just couldn't be active in my faith.  I stopped going to Elevation for the most part. I still watched online every week, but I needed to be alone in my struggles and pain. I just couldn't put on a smile and do the happy Christian thing. As a part of that, my blog went silent as well. I prayed and cried and my family and I got through it.  We are all still dealing with missing Dad every day, but I'm proud to say that we made it through the hardest part.


So, that brings me to now. Cory and I met right about the time my dad died. Through that time, my new relationship with Cory was such a blessing. He was a light in the dark for me.  He is so passionate about his faith, and his fire helped me keep my little spark going, even when I was so bogged down in my grief and figuring out a new way of life. Now, we are married and I've coped with the grief successfully. Its now a part of my life instead of my whole life. As a couple, Cory and I are working hard to jump into Elevation Matthews and build a faith community around us. We are going to a WONDERFUL small group, tithing, volunteering, praying and studying together and apart, and we are about to become involved as leaders in the student ministry. I think that any christian knows that we go through seasons in our faith. At times, things feel dry and barren. At other times we feel fulfilled and full of potential. Right now is a season of growth and learning for Cory and me. We are learning to be leaders and to work as a couple instead of as two individual people. We are learning how to have a Christ centered marriage and how to follow Him on our own, but also as a family.

The other day I felt this old familiar nudge in my spirit... something I haven't noticed in a while. I know that God was with me when I was going through grief and pain. He comforted me and he sent Cory into my life right when I needed him. Even so, I didn't really feel God leading me to DO a lot through that time. It was almost like the lord knew I wasn't up to ministering... he knew I needed to be ministered to. Now though, I know that Cory and I are on the cusp of falling into God's plan for us. I hope that writing is part of his plan for me. I love it, and I would love to use it to touch people.  But for now, I feel like the Lord is telling me to start writing about my experiences with him again. I'm not so arrogant to think that my blog will lead millions to salvation (though I don't question that the Lord could do that if he saw fit) but I do know that I learn more about my faith when I write about it.  I also know that someone somewhere will relate to what I'm going through.

So, I'm moving on... and part of that is coming back. Hope you are all willing to take the journey with me.

Boundaries

Insomnia has struck once more.  Grey's Anatomy is keeping me company thanks to Netflix. Love this quote from the show and wanted to share...

LOVE this, love you. 

Excitement.

"Sometimes what you wanted isn't what you get, BUT in the end, what you get is SO much better than what you thought you wanted!"

This is so so so true. I thought I knew what I wanted. I prayed and prayed for a relationship to work out and it still fell apart. I was devastated and thought I'd never find anything better. Little did I know, someone better than I could EVER imagine was right around the corner.

We struggled through a long distance relationship for months now, and its FINALLY time for him to come home this week. I can't say enough how much God has blessed me by putting Harrison in my life. I know everyone is tired of hearing about it, but I just can't help saying it again.

Now, I'm so glad for everything I've been through. I was hurt and lonely for a long time, but I can definitely say that it was all worth it to be where I am today. =)

Hey strangers!!

I keep promising myself that I'm going to get back to blogging, but as of yet it hasn't happened. Maybe this is the start of that?

Anyway, today will just be a little life update...

Where to start?!

1. I changed my concentration at school. I'm working on a masters of education. My major is counseling and development. Until last week my concentration was clinical mental health counseling. As of today, I'm happy to say that I am now a school counseling student. Needless to say, my professors and classmates were pretty surprised when I announced my decision. I got stuck in a school practicum this semester even though it wasn't my area of choice. I DREADED starting there. Turns out I REALLY liked it. My professor and the school's counselor were so encouraging and helpful. I am a firm believer that God shows us where he wants us to be, and this is one of the most clear instances of that I've ever experienced. I absolutely cannot wait to finish school and start working in a school helping kids!

2. I'm getting pretty domestic. I bought a crock pot which i LOVE. I've made some awesome dinners in it. I NEVER thought I'd like cooking, but I'm getting really good at it. So, feel free to come over for dinner some time! Also, I'm currently decorating for Christmas. Yes, I know its early, but I just couldn't wait any more! I love glitter and sparkles and good holiday smells! I feel like I'm definitely moving into the next stage of my life, and I couldn't be more excited! I'm going to Ikea (with a GIFT CARD!!!) today to hopefully redo my bathroom. SO excited. My little apartment had really become a nice cozy home over the last several months. My life is so busy and stressful... coming home to my little haven is one of my favorite things about life!

3. My BF is moving home in a WEEEEEEEK! I am SO excited that he'll be living here with me all the time! I know some people think its a bad decision... we're too young, its too soon, we need to wait for marriage. I know that living together is what's right for us, and I can't wait for this next step in our relationship. God has blessed me with someone who really cares for me, listens to me, supports me, and makes me laugh. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world that I'll get to have him around every day. Spending time with him and taking care of him makes me happier than anything else. Its impossible to say how blessed my life is thanks to him! <3

4. Just finished the newest Nicholas Sparks novel "The Best of Me." Its FANTASTIC. IF you know me at all, you know I am a Sparks fanatic. I've read everything he has written multiple times. So, when I say this is my favorite of his books, that means something. haha. Definitely check it out! Its a great read... oh, but get a box of tissues!

5. I am SO thankful for my great doctor. I talked a lot with Dr. B about my struggles with anxiety. He has been wonderful with helping me take control of the situation. That combined with some wonderful advice from one of my favorite professors has helped me really begin to get a handle on my stress and anxiety. It consumed a big part of my life for a long time and I finally feel a little relieved. Its not totally under control and I think i have quite a ways to go, but its good to know that things are getting better!

Ok, that's all for now. What's going on with you?

Distance.

Spent the weekend at the beach with Harrison. =)

We didn't really do anything special, but it was my favorite weekend in SOO long. There's just nothing that compares to warm hugs and sweet words and laughs with someone you really care about. Its so hard to live so far away from a guy thats so important to me, but it was wonderful to se how happy he is. Distance really stinks, but it makes you really appreciate time and little things so much more. I love getting to know odd little things that make someone different from everyone else. I love anticipating the next time we get to see each other, and I love how great it is to FINALLY see someone after waiting for a long time. It may not always be the ideal situation, but I'm so thankful for such a great person to spend time with... even if it isn't every day!

Ok, I'm done being mushy now. So, what did you do this weekend?

Praise!

Some great things have been happening over the last few days...

1. Everything is squared away with school! YAAY! I start classes tomorrow!

2. elevation RH got approved for Northwestern high school. PTL!

3. I've met tons of new people volunteering on the Elevation RH launch team! They are AWESOME!

4. I got my student loan refund. It put me in really good shape on my bills. Its nice to not feel pressured for a change.

5. I got an iPhone today. Its incredible. I LOVE it. If you wanna text me, same number.

6. I have worked a TON of days in a row, and finally I will have a three day weekend this week! Can't WAIT for Friday!

7. This weekend I get to go to the beach and see Harrison! I've been super lonely since he moved away, so I am thrilled to go and see him FINALLY! I cannot wait to spend the weekend with my favorite guy! PLUS I haven't been to the beach all summer!! I am beyond excited!

Thanks.

I've had a larger than normal number of views on my blog this week.... perhaps connected to the fact that I've posted? haha. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for reading. I struggle through life just like everyone else, and its nice to have a place to post my triumphs, tribulations, and everything in between. I'd like to think that my small (but loyal) audience is praying with me when things get hard, and thanking God along with me when he does amazing things. Just thought I'd take a little time to show some appreciation. Oh, and if you're writing and sharing your life on a blog, thanks for that too. Its encouraging to see other people's ups and downs.

Closing this short post with whats been encouraging me over the last several day. Happy Friday everyone. =)


2 Corinthians 4:16-18
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Notice.

This will be a short little update, as I have to be at work shortly, and I'm aiming to get my dishwasher emptied before I leave.... we'll see how that goes.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a little something that was a BIG deal to me today. If you read my last post, you know that I had a big experience at Elevation last weekend. God is really moving in that church and consequently in my personal life. Anyway, the same post that I made I also emailed to what the church refers to as the 'amen corner.' Its just a way to share your story with the staff at Elevation. They sometimes read a story during a sermon or other event.

Tonight I was at an Elevation Rock Hill launch team meeting. As our campus pastor was speaking, he mentioned that he loves to read the stories people email in. I didn't think much of the comment at the time. After the meeting, I introduced myself to Pastor Frank and discussed some outreach opportunities at Winthrop. At the end of the conversation he asked me my last name. I told him, and he immediately said 'didn't you send in an email this week?'

In a church that had 10,000 plus people attend last Sunday, Pastor Frank remembered my name and story specifically. I've never felt so honored by someone that I didn't really know. People say that a 'mega church' can't work. But I'm here to say that's not true. If we each take the time to honor the people that we come into contact with personally then we can create a tight knit group no matter how big the church family is. So, I'm making it my mission to invest personally into whoever God puts into my path... I'd love to know that I had a hand in someone feeling as important as I felt this evening.

Follow.

Here's what's been going on at Elevation. After the video, read below for my experience with FOLLOW.

Follow from Elevation Church on Vimeo.

I've been thinking about sharing my story for some time, and I know for sure now that its time. For a long time I would have said that my walk with Christ began as a child, but now I know that this is not true. I was taken to church as a child, and around age 7 or 8 I got baptized. It was clear that this was what my parents wanted, so I complied. (Bless them for caring about my soul.)

Through out middle and high school I was incredibly involved in church. I was constantly bombarded with lists, rules, regulations, commandments that I had to keep. I was an expert at putting on the Christian act. I kept these rules because my friends did, but I now know that my heart was never in it. I attended a Christian college where I pursued a degree and met people who I most definitely did not expect to find in that environment. Before I knew it, the girl who grew up as an expert at keeping the rules was drinking, partying, in a relationship that did't honor God, and pretty much anything else you could think of. I graduated, got a job, and only found more time and means to live a sinful life. Looking back, it seems like I blinked and my life was out of control. I wasn't an addict, I wasn't pregnant, I wasn't in jail, but I wasn't a Christian either. I was SCARED.

None of the things I were doing made me happy. I knew that I had to figure out this God thing for myself. I realized that I've believed in Jesus for most of my life, but I've never really followed him. There is a big difference I've come to see. I'd been To Elevation a few times, but in early 2011 I decided to commit to regular attendance. The first Sunday I attended Pastor Steven began a series called "Get Back" all about how to recover your spiritual life coupled with a Beatles theme. As the most avid Beatles fan you'd ever find in a 25 year old, I felt like God was saying 'not only do I know what you need to hear, I know EVERYTHING about you.' I knew it was God's way of telling me that this was the beginning of the right journey for me. Over the last several months I've struggled a LOT. I joined an eGroup. I got involved, but I was still wrestling with what it meant to follow Jesus instead of just believing in him. I was still struggling with leaving my old ways in the past. I've been praying for a long time about my next step in following Jesus.

Last Saturday night I attended Blakeney alone. I was sitting close to the front and crying my eyes out as Pastor Steven spoke about following. I knew that the 'dying daily' and the 'carrying my cross' were what I had been missing. At one point he looked directly at my section of the crowd and said "I must follow Jesus for myself." As he continued to speak, those words played over and over in my mind. I couldn't WAIT for him to count to three and send people outside to be baptized. I knew that this was the next step of faith that I had been looking for. I knew I was ready to FOLLOW. I cried as I changed clothes. I cried as I waited in line at the baptismal tank. I'm crying as I think about it now. I've felt anxious for months and months now, but when Pastor Chunks lifted me out of the water I felt at peace like I have never felt before. I know that following instead of believing won't be easy, but I know that it will be worth the sacrifice.

I start grad school classes at Winthrop in a few weeks... right about the time Elevation Rock Hill opens. I can feel God leading me (for the first time in forever) to reach my campus for him. I'm SO excited about the next steps of following Jesus, and I'm proud to say that Elevation was a huge part of my changed life.

Boring.

I read this article online and was really moved. I just wanted to share it with those of you who might like it. Understand that the rest of this post wasn't written by me... =)

We all long for a radical calling, but monotony can be its own mission.

I was sure God was telling me to quit my landscaping job. I was bound for something more important. The horizon beckoned. So I turned in my notice and embraced unemployment as a divine calling. I spent my hours reading Scripture and praying over maps, nobly trusting God for my provisions. I had a fever of 360 degrees—I wanted to travel the globe. All of it. Four months later I told my girlfriend that the next time I saw her I would ask her to marry me, then I pulled myself out of her arms and boarded a plane. I had some funds, but only for 180 degrees of my round-the-world trip. God would provide.

Six weeks later I was stranded in Southeast Asia with a depleted money belt and the gnawing suspicion that I had missed God somewhere along the way.

Radical is in my resume. Radical is part of our calling. But radical can be dangerous. With seven years of working with college students (and with a personal penchant for the extreme), I offer a couple warnings to complement the needed exhortation to be radical.

Romanticized Discipleship
“What are you doing this summer after classes?” a college student asks his friend late in the spring semester.

“Well, I’m working with an electrician.”

“Oh, OK.”

“What about you? What are your summer plans?”

“I’m actually gonna be living in an orphanage in Africa, loving on those kids and doing some community development stuff.”

“Oh ...”

In conversations like this, it is likely that the 20-year-old working with the electrician will feel spiritually inferior to the 20-year-old who has plane tickets in hand for Kenya. There is also the tendency for the guy with the ticket to feel as though he is a bit more sincere in his devotion to Jesus.

Believe me, I do not wish to discourage young people from boarding flights to Africa. But I also do not wish to disparage electrical work as spiritually insignificant.

Scripture calls us into radical service—but that does not allow others to eviscerate tedious, less “spiritually” glamorous tasks of their meaning in God’s Kingdom. Scripture also calls us to embrace the mundane and ordinary as holy and beautiful: “... aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands” (1 Thessalonians 4:11).

Many of us want to do something awesome, something epic. We tend to think that the more normal, the less “spiritual.” So it is quite possible that our aspirations to be radical stem from dangerous ambitions to perform biography-worthy feats of global glory.

But radical discipleship is not adventure tourism.

Following Jesus is not to be romanticized through impressive Facebook status updates or photos of exotic places on our blog. Discipleship is often ugly, messy and painful. Faithful service will regularly lead us into dull labors and bewildering struggles that would make unexciting press. To romanticize social justice or cross-cultural evangelism is to promote an idealism that will be inevitably vaporized on the field, inadvertently leading to burnout and cynicism.

The first person to be filled with the Holy Spirit for a task in the Bible was not commissioned to lead a battle or to prophesy over Israel. Bezalel (ever heard of him?) was filled with the Spirit to build stuff. To make art. To carve, mold and weave. He was the guy God commissioned to build the tabernacle and its accoutrements (Exodus 31.1-5).

Spirit-anointing does not always propel us into radical action. Instead we may find ourselves entrusted with tedious, meticulous handiwork that feels ... well, boring.

Spiritualized Escapism
I was 20 years old and wracked with angst. I was on my knees with a heart burning so fiercely with passion to serve Christ overseas that I felt I could not go another day without a global assignment, without a divinely issued itinerary in hand.

This was my prayer that day. And I meant every word: “Lord, just whisper a country, and I will walk to it I don’t care how far it is. I don’t care what it costs. Just whisper a place and I will go.”

Had the country been overseas, I would have secretly boarded a cargo ship as a stowaway. I just knew there were more urgent tasks out there than doing my statistics homework.

But I think I was much more interested in a radical leaving than a radical going. The heart behind the prayer was not so much, “Let me serve you, Lord” but, “Lord, get me out of here.”

I wanted to escape the unexciting “local” for the exotic “global.” I wanted freedom from the tedious tasks of the daily grind for the thrilling speed of travel and for the gratifying buzz of experiencing something new. I did not want to do statistics homework—I wanted to fulfill the great commission. I did not want to dig another ditch as a landscaper in the summer heat—I wanted to preach the Word on a distant city street.

As a former college student and a current college pastor, I know it is so difficult for a young person to see how doing their accounting project will glorify God. It is hard to see how finishing the research paper on 18th century art forms can contribute to God’s Kingdom work. Staring at spread sheets, calming grumpy customers or chasing a toddler down all day don't seem like tasks that will make any kind of eternal impact. Aren’t people dying out there from lack of clean water? Aren’t the lost dying without the Gospel?

Yes, but an untested 20-something without the work ethic required for completing the annoying accounting project or the boring research paper will likely be of little help in dire situations overseas. Those assignments can actually be effective training for the arduous labors of missional service. “What ever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord” (Colossians 3:23). Remember how Jesus calls us to faithfulness in the small things (Matthew 25:14-30).

Aching for yonder shores and longingly scanning the distant horizon may well be God’s call on our lives. But it also may be our impatience with the monotonous minutiae of the daily grind. Escapism is not fulfilling the great commission.

Regardless of our location, abroad or at home, all ministry is inescapably local. Every worker in a global context must embrace the monotonous minutiae of a new daily grind after the plane lands—figuring out the postal service, dealing with the cell phone company, conjugating verbs in the slow and tedious study of the language. If we cannot be faithful to do our statistics homework or collaborate with our coworkers, then we may lack the strength of character required for dealing with the meticulous annoyances of a more radical life beyond the romanticized horizon.

Andrew Byers [who wrote this article] leads University Christian Fellowship and is the author of Faith Without Illusions: Following Jesus as a Cynic-Saint (Likewise Books / IVP). He blogs at Hopeful Realism.

Asking.

I've been thinking a lot lately. I want something really specific and I am just not sure if its ok to pray about it. I don't want to put limits on God's plans for me. At the same time, I want to talk to God about my desires. I want him to know how I feel. Praying about my feelings makes me feel better. I want to tell him just how I feel about the whole situation. I pray regularly. I have an internal dialogue with God going on almost all the time. Admittedly, sometimes its not the nicest things. There are times when I'm complaining, nagging God, trying to get my way, so don't think I'm above average in the holiness area... I struggle too. But I'm pretty much always talking to God these days. That was something that I used to reallllly struggle with. Now, I'm presented with a new dilemma. What exactly do you ask God for? How specific is ok?

Do I ask God to bless me? Is it ok to ask for good health? Should I pray that my head feels better when I have a headache? I just don't know how specific its supposed to be. Is it even alright to ask God to bless me? I'd feel selfish and guilty to even think such things. Of course, I had to investigate this. Honestly, its been driving me crazy. If I want something can I just ask for it? Well, here's what I came up with... Scripture about asking God for things.

Matthew 7:7 – 8 (ESV)
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.

Matthew 7:11 (ESV)
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Matthew 21:22 (ESV)
And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.

John 14:13 (ESV)
Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

John 15:16 (ESV)
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

John 16:23 (ESV)
In that day you will ask nothing of me. Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you.

So, you may be asking … “where’s the catch?” What do I have to do to make all this happen? Well scripture answers THAT too...

Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

God tells us to SEEK HIM FIRST … and then, He will meet all of our needs. This is true with all of our asking. We first need to align ourselves with God’s Will and then he will meet all of our needs. So if you're prayers aren't getting answered, then this MIGHT have something to do with it. We have a God who loves us more than anything we can imagine – which means he wants what is best for us. We have a God who knows everything, sees everything, and who is able to do anything because He is all powerful … it only makes sense that I would want the things He wants me to have because those things will be what is best for me. So … yes, we can – AND SHOULD – ask God to bless us. We should seek to be in line with His will and pray as He leads us to pray.

However, you and I both know that we do not always get everything we ask for. Why not?

One reason is that sometimes we do not put God first in our lives. Jesus told us to "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you" (Matthew 6:33). We must put God first in our lives if we expect Him to answer our prayers.

Another reason our prayers aren't always answered is that we sometimes ask out of selfishness. In James 4:3 we read: "You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures." Before we ask God for anything, we should ask ourselves what we are going to do with the things God gives us. Will we share with others? Will we acknowledge God's blessing in our lives? Will we praise him for what he blessed us with?

Finally, sometimes we put God first, and we ask intending to share with others, but we still do not receive what we want. Why? Because God knows what is best for us. Paul had a serious medical condition. He asked God three times to fix his problem, but God never did (2 Corinthians 12:7-9). God said it was best for Paul not to be healed. God knew what was best, even though Paul may not have understood it at the time. So, I'm not limiting God when I pray for specifics. He understands that we don't always know what best for ourselves. We just have to understand that HE always does.

So if you want something from God, put Him first in your life, put others' needs before your own, and keep asking Him. If it is best for you, then God will give you what you desire. He knows what he's doing... and not only does he not mind, he WANTS you to ask!

accomplished!

I'm feeling accomplished! I have been straight up stalking winthrop's internet data base for a week to see what I made in my summer classes. It has been driving me INSANE not to know. I feel certain that nobody else in my program was nearly as obsessed as me. haha.

Anyway, I had dinner (AT MOE'S!!!) with my sister tonight and she totally related. I'm SO blessed to have her going to law school while I work on grad school. Its so nice to have someone who understands the stress.... because its certainly different than stress from other sources.

My stalking paid off today. I made As in ALL my classes. I was SOOOOOO excited to see a 4.0 beside GPA! Just thought I'd share. God is so good! I cant wait to get started on fall classes!

Besties!

I'm off work tonight and I can't sleep. Since everyone else is in bed I've been playing around editing pictures.

I'm posting my favorite one... a collage of me and my three favorite girls in the world! Amber, April, Ashley, and I have been taking pictures in this pose since college. Its a tradition that I hope lasts a long time! I love these ladies!


Click on the picture to make it big! Its worth a look! =)



 

thankful.

Well, I've had an odd week so far. I sprained my ankle Saturday night at work. Even so, I'm thankful for people and things in my life that have gone well...

1. My coworkers on my floor were SO sweet when I hurt my foot. Roxxie wrapped it up for me (which saved me from absolutely dying from the pain!) and the rest of the third shift staff really picked up the slack when I couldn't do everything I normally do. Ms. Orr even switched schedules with me so I'd have a night off to rest and recover. I was SOO grateful for a little time to rest.

2. My wonderful step dad Jon came all the way to my house and picked up my laundry. Then he and my mom washed, dried, and folded it and he brought it back all nice and clean. I was worried about how I'd get that big basket over to my apartment's laundry room, but my family saved the day and took care of everything! I LOVE them!

3. I got an email today from a professor that asked me to call her and discuss an assignment we'd turned in for class. I was SO nervous, but I just went ahead and called her. Turns out that she thought I did a great job! She gave me some great feedback on things I could improve and told me that I was doing well and she was excited about my future with the program. It made my entire week good to hear such encouraging words! I was so excited I had to call my mom and tell her!

4. Harrison's been keeping me company since I'm crippled at the moment. Its nice to have someone to sit around and watch movies, eat Mike & Ike's and such with... even if he does fall asleep halfway through. =)

5. Summer session of grad school is almost over. I can't believe I have survived and even done relatively well. It was a whirlwind experience to say the least! I went out for dinner and drinks after class with everyone last weekend. I'm really excited about learning and becoming a counselor, but I am also really excited about the people I'm spending the next two years with. The other people in my cohort are so nice! Everyone is really smart and they are all so eager to help each other out. I feel really lucky to be sharing this experience with so many amazing new friends.

6. Its been really nice to relax in my apartment over the last few days while I've been hurt. I got new sheets the day before I got hurt... I think that was God's way of making it all a little bit better! I've certainly had time to break them in over the last few days! I am so blessed to have my own little place. Its clean and quite and comfortable. Its so nice to have a place thats such an expression of me. I know that not everyone has such a nice place to come home to, so I am so grateful!

7. If you're reading this then I'm thankful for you too! Thanks for checking in with me! =) Now, leave a comment and tell me whats going on with you!

My pad.

So, my lovely friend April is always telling me that I need to spice up my blog with pictures. I'm more fond or writing, but I figured I'd give the picture thing a go at some point. I just never have anything to add pictures of. Anyway, I just moved into my own apartment for the first time, and although I miss my Cheyanne/little one/April (all that's a long story) it was SUPER fun to decorate my new place in all my own style. As such, I thought that now since I'm pretty much done I'd post some pictures of my favorite aspects of the new place. =)

Bedroom:


King size bed with a quilt made by my mom... oh and my favorite Ramones pillow case =)



70s furniture from Salvation Army that I'm in LOVE with.



Bought these at a yard sale. Painted them black... they got wet in the rain and it added a cool vintage look. Plus, it makes a GREAT place to hang up all my big necklaces... got the beads at a yard sale too!



Candlesticks were a gift from April. I <3 them!


Marilyn. A gift from Ashley!

Bathroom:


Used to be a light fixture. Bought it at a thrift store and hung it up as a candle holder... candles to be added soon.



Shower curtain. I picked the fabric. Mom sewed it. We're a good team.


Broke the handle, so I couldn't drink from the mug anymore. Couldn't throw it out, so a Beatles mug to hold all my Urban Decay goodies. Whaaaat could be better?!

Kitchen:


Bought this hanging fruit basket at a yard sale too. I LOVE it because it reminds me of the one my Nanny had when I was a kid.


Dining room curtains. Again I picked the fabric and Mom sewed them.


Cookbooks. And my alternative to a junk drawer. 10 cents well spent at Value Village. I like the nostalgia. Reminds me of being a kid. Unfortunately I can't get the picture to turn the right way!


My kitchen table is pretty much a study station. Robin got me this cute mug and I just had to find a better use than sitting in the cupboard waiting for some coffee.

Living room:


An overview.


Marilyn coasters.


Records! I credit Rayen with starting my love for vinyl.


Vintage lamp that Jon found me at a thrift store. One of my favorite parts of my apartment!


A Hard Day's night. I LOVE John's picture making the glasses!


Abbey Road & People for Peace. Obviously, I have a Beatles theme going on here.


Coffee table reading = Beatles & Elvis. <3 My FAVORITES. Probably should have been born in the 60s.


I fell in love with this hip native american style rug at a yard sale and got it for only 15 dollars!


Spray painted these frames I got from thrift stores and added them empty to the wall after I saw this idea on a design blog.]]


Ok, so there's a little overview of my 60s/70s inspired pad. I'll likely add some more later. Let me know if you like it and I'll invite you over to listen to a record and have some coffee.

Test.

Tonight I was in the first session of my developmental psychology class. Dr. Crews emailed us the first reading assignment a few weeks ago and I knocked it out immediately. Tonight he uttered those dreaded words... please put everything away except a pen.

After a pop quiz which killed the spirit of the entire class I did better than many people around me, but nowhere near where I'd like to preform on my first test of grad school. Dr. Crews began to speak. He said that the grade didn't count and that we could retrieve our aper after class. He said that he didn't want to pass out the papers and see the grades at all.

Dr. Crews spent the next minute talking to us about our purpose in grad school. He told us that the only people in our program that care about grades we us, the students. Our professors care about facilitating our learning and leading us on the path of learning about ourselves and discovering how to be effective counselors. He assured us that we would have academic successes and failures while we were at Winthrop, but that those weren't the most important aspect of our experience. He told us that he was going to give us just enough information to make us dangerous as a counselor. Its our responsibility to make the most of our learning experience and to work toward being a responsible, competent practitioner.

Throughout this encouraging talk I kept thinking of a passage in Colossians...


Colossians 3:23 (The Message)
22-25 Servants, do what you're told by your earthly masters. And don't just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you'll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you're serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn't cover up bad work.



How hard is it for us to remember to do everything as if for God when we are forced into doing things we do not like? I mean sometimes you just don't feel like finishing the dishes, getting up on time, heading in to work, reading another chapter before class. This is especially daunting for those of us who like to be in control. The simplest task can become enormous when we dislike it. But, when we approach the task from a different place-- when we do it out of love for the Lord, we often find that the task is not as bad as we thought.

For me, things aren't difficult because I don't like them... but no matter how much you appreciate school or a job, sometimes you'd rather just get some sleep or see your family. I'm finding that sacrifice and discipline are easier when you keep in mind why you're doing what you do. Even in the midst of suffering, if we approach it from the standpoint that there is a purpose in it from and for God, we can endure anything.

I found encouragement in an unexpected source today, and just wanted to share.

A brief brief.

This is going to be a relatively short post. Thats mainly due to the fact that I have zero time to spare these days. Just wanted to post a quick update since I started grad school classes this week. God REALLY blessed me with this opportunity, and I thought i was well aware of that until I went to class. Then I really realized what an experience this is going to be. My professors are intelligent and accomplished and seem really passionate about preparing us to be good therapists. My classmates have all been really friendly and seem like a great group of people to go through this process with. I've already been assigned a healthy amount of work, but honestly, I am SO excited about all of it that I don't even mind sacrificing to get everything done. I can already se that this is going to be difficult at times, but that I'm not only going to learn a lot about helping others, but about God, and myself too.

Thanks to everyone who has been praying about this with me. Love you!


"Did you ever observe to whom the accidents happen? Chance favors only the prepared mind." - Louis Pasteur

Blessings.

Hey guys. Happy Friday... at least I THINK its Friday. Since I've started working nights I'm a little confused about what day it is. haha

Anyway, I've been thinking about some things and I'd really like your input. There were several things that I've been praying for since the beginning of 2011. These mainly included getting promoted at work to a job with more hours each week, getting into grad school, finding an apartment once April got married, and paying for school. God has blessed me beyond measure as each and every thing I prayed about has happened. I really am just in awe of the way things have happened in 2011 so far.

Ok, so here's what I'm concerned about. Working nights is really taking a toll on me. I am getting plenty of sleep, but I'm not at all into a routine. I've not seen family or friends much. I didn't make it to small group last week either. I've slept, read for class, and worked this week. I really don't want to neglect people or things in my life... especially the people who so diligently prayed and supported me while I was in the process of getting to where I am now. I'm praying that I'm able to fit everything new into my life without sacrificing any of the people or things that I already love.

Ok, so this is where you come in. I've been looking for some scripture or a blog or maybe a sermon about making the most of God's blessings in your life. I've spent a lot of my life thinking about where I wanted to be... and God is really providing a way for me to get there. I'm really passionate about making all of this work together. So, if any of you readers can provide some words of wisdom I'd be GREATLY appreciative!

Love you guys!

single.

I read this today and I thought it was something all my single girl friends could relate to.

"My Every Day Single Girl Prayer"
by Evelyn Worthington

Lord you know my heart, you know every part of me,
Help me to live this life, please fulfill this need.
I have this longing Lord, and you know what I mean,
I'm just praying you'll fill it up, so I can be freed.
Lord, I want your timing, but lately I'm lonely for only you know who.
That longing, that desire, that missing someone, who knows? only you!
So Lord, I pray he's out there, help me be patient and strong,
Help me to not struggle with this, and help me not to long,
Teach him what he needs to know, help me, Lord, depend on thee.
Help me not to be conceited, and not to depend on me.
Help me to be wise and lead me in your ways.
Help me to trust in only you and follow you all my days.
Some days are harder than others, but today I feel so alone.
Help me to find my strength in you, and in you to find my home.
If he's not out there, then Lord, my prayer's the same.
Lead me, guide me, help me to feel your love, and trust in Jesus' name.
God I come to you as your child, lead me, make me like you.
Teach me your holy ways O Lord and make me wholly devoted to you.


On another note... I'm thankful today for my friends Cristina and Rachel who both took the time to ask me how I was doing, and truly listened when I told them. You ladies are wonderful, and I'm glad God blessed me with you.

Congrats!

I know, I know. I was SUPPOSED to be doing better at keeping up with my blog. Things have just been really busy still.
(This blog is devoted to my wonderful friends April and Jeremy who got hitched yesterday!)

Yesterday was a fantastic day. Two of my best friends got married. It was a BEAUTIFUL day, and I am so glad that I got to be a part of it.

April and Jeremy met a few years back at my apartment. My roommates and I were having people over for drinks and such. April was home from college on Christmas break and I begged her to come hang out at my place and meet some new people. She had recently gone through a bad breakup and I knew she needed some fun. She bumped into my high school friend Jeremy that night and the rest is history.

Anyway, back in those days I made a lot of dumb decisions. I drank too much, thought mainly about having fun, and didn't plan at all for the future. A lot of times I was selfish, impatient, lazy. Sometimes I wonder why I went through those days. Sometimes I wonder why I'm at the place I'm at now. Watching two people I love so much share the happiest moment of there lives yesterday, I couldn't help but think about how amazing it is that God uses us, even when we don't realize it. If I'd gone to a different college, lived in a different town after school, or any number of other things, April and Jeremy might have never met. All day long yesterday I was in awe at how God used seemingly insignificant circumstances in our lives to bring people together. I'm so so thankful that my life is intertwined with the lives of so many wonderful people.

April and Jeremy have been such an important part of my life over the last few years. When April became my roommate in 2009, I had no idea how much fun we would have, how close we would get, and how much God was blessing me by allowing me to be her roomie. April and Jeremy were there for me through a terrible breakup, and there is no doubt in my mind that God allowed me to live with April during that time because he knew how much I'd need her. When I wanted to talk or cry or yell, April always listened. When I needed to hear that I deserved a better guy, when I needed a big hug, or just a cold beer, Jeremy was always there for me. Watching those two crazy kids has always made me want to hold out for a relationship as wonderful as theirs. =) Like I told them at the rehearsal dinner, If I meet a guy half as great as Jeremy and I can be half as good a wife as April, then I will consider myself very lucky. They prove to all their friends that this love thing can still happen.

April, I know you'll see this, so congrats again! I love you!